5 Ways I’ve Changed in My 30’s

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No More Crap

I’ve stopped buying things just because I think I need them, or because I’m prepping for a future need. It’s just stuff! This took a lot of effort honestly, because we’re conditioned to be consumers…but given my tiny house dreams – there’s no more room for stuff I don’t use, and the heirlooms I have left, I’ve already decided who I’m passing them along to…and that’s SO relieving!

You WILL Treat Me Respectfully

Outside of the workplace, obviously because I still work for someone else, I do not tolerate disrespect, chauvinism or other attempts to make me feel less than I am. I don’t care who you are, no one gets to tear me down, and I will absolutely banish you from my life if you offend me badly enough. Most of the time I’ll handle it with a clever retort, when necessary a cross word.

I Won’t Settle

If I don’t want to do something, I don’t. If I don’t want to date someone, I don’t. If I’m not excited about going somewhere, I don’t go. Why? Because someone will be disappointed? WELCOME TO LIFE.

Screw Climbing the Ladder

I worked tirelessly in my 20’s trying to climb some ladder to get me somewhere making more money, in a more fulfilling job and you know, the one thing that has remained true throughout? I’m always happier outside of work. So I stopped taking jobs that made me miserable, I look for quality of life, and happiness at work. And it has helped, I don’t dread going to work like I used to, 100% worth it. Sure I make less, but I’m still happier.

I Don’t, and Won’t Justify My Beliefs

If I feel like having a conversation about my political/religious views, I will – but only with mature adults. But if I’m asked, and I don’t feel like it, I don’t have anything to prove, and won’t discuss it. I’m always polite about it, but you know, it really ISN’T anyone’s business but mine.

Oh the HUMANity

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love each other
Five days a week I work across the hall from a doctors’ office. The largest demographic of clientele are elderly or injured. Most of the time, I am zoned into the duties of my job and barely notice the foot traffic in my line of sight. Occasionally I look up while I’m thinking over something or because something caught my eye and I’ll see regular people, with kind faces opening doors for each other, helping their injured or elderly loved ones, friends, patients; as they walk inside the clinic and take their place in line to see the doctor. I see people hop up from where they are sitting to get the door for someone who has come alone and is on a walker or in a wheelchair.

They sit patiently and make conversation with each other, and others in the clinic and generally it’s a friendly little crowd in that waiting area – and it IS most definitely a crowd from 8-5 any given weekday.

As our nation sits back and discusses the general consensus on the Confederate Battle Flag, I want to call attention to this very human activity of coexisting peacefully. Sharing space with other people suffering maladies, having bad days, living with constant pain – and they all somehow remain civil, peaceful and even friendly.

Life is hard for everyone at some point, we would do well to remember that we all suffer from the human condition, practice a little empathy, be nice to each other and prepare to be in awe of the humanity out there to be witnessed. It ain’t ALL bad folks.


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There’s this term that I can’t stand, but it’s being used more and more all the time.


My love for words stems from a deep seated desire to always represent myself with the proper words for how I’m thinking or feeling. With that said, the very word “Hater” makes no sense to me.

What is a hater? It’s a nonsensical word that people use because it’s easy and it speaks to discontent, all the while it doesn’t really mean ANYTHING. Wrapping your head around that is nothing more than a quick education in the circle jerk.

I propose we stop making up words that don’t hold any meaning and say what we really mean. Instead of “DON’T HATE”, say what you mean, “STOP BEING AN ASS!” It’s really liberating – I promise.

In the Still of the Night

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The whirring sound of the blades, the cool air it creates, I love my fan. A fan serves dual functions for me, cools the room – and I am SERIOUSLY hot blooded, so all year long I have a fan on.. but it also serves as my white noise. I am your typical light sleeper, in a quiet house – I hear EVERY sound and I’ll toss and turn all night. As young people we fall asleep to the tv or the radio and we don’t think anything of it, we’re just media hogs and we ingest noise because we love it.

There are countless articles that repeat this chorus of “for better sleep turn off your screens! leave devices alone for half an hour before sleeping!…..and so on, etc….” I always dismissed the validity of it because I too, am a media hog. I adore music, I love old tv shows, but I have realized that it does not serve me well at night. This all happened quite by accident a few years ago, I was exhausted one afternoon and at the time all of my devices were quiet, I wasn’t using them, my bedroom was completely quiet except my fan as I sat trying to decide whether to stay up or nap. Ya’ll know I ended up asleep, no nap, OH NO, all night long. When I woke up the next morning, I was refreshed, wide awake and ready for the day, I had slept better than I had in a long time.

So that got me thinking and I tried that for about a week, it was WILDLY successful. I did add ambient noise from my favorite favorite app, Rainymood. I found the website several years ago and used to set it up at night on my tv (that doubled as a giant monitor) through my pc, and it would play all night. Now they have an app and they’ve added all sorts of pairings with the sound of the rain (like this awesomeness Rain + Deadmau5). The android app has a 1 hour timer and Pandora has a 1 hour timer, so I’ll set them up and turn up my fan and settle in for sleepy time. When I wake up, the only sound is the fan, which is good because I need to be able to hear my alarms, all four of them.

I find when I don’t go through that routine before sleeping, I just don’t sleep as well. Being a light sleeper is good for things like camping, when you have small children and probably being a prisoner, though I wouldn’t know anything about how that is, you know because – for the most part I obey the law (close your mouth, it’s really true). I encourage you to try this if you find you have issues sleeping, different things work for different people but this has been working for me for years now, I think you’ll find it most helpful.