MouthyGirl.com

There was this time (over 9 years ago) I was watching TV and saw an ad about going to college on the government dime all you had to do was apply and see what happened. I was in a few Honors classes in high school and thought I’d give it a shot. Mind you I come from nothing, my mom drank her money and our child support away and didn’t really give a shit about our futures. So I said what the hell, and never really saw myself going to college, because I knew I didn’t have the means. But by this time my son Steven was 11 months old and I knew (my now ex) his dad was going nowhere in life, so I was stuck like chuck unless I did something about it.

So I got on the internet at my Grandma’s house and applied for financial aid - or maybe I went to the school I don’t remember. I already lived in a different city than I graduated from so I didn’t expect to know anyone, and I was fine with that in fact the life I was living was so shameful I ran the hell out of that city because of what I’d done. I had left home at 17 and moved in with him to get away from home - mind you my mother threatened my life so it was kind of a sudden decision, but I had to get out of there I was sure she would kill me, the bitch was crazy.

So I was approved and I enrolled and a few weeks later I was chilling outside a building smoking a cigarrette and saw a former classmate of mine, and I found out later the blonde with her, Monica, was her cousin.

Long boring story short that’s how I met Monica, at the very foot of the hill that is ambition. I was so lost in life, no direction. At the time I worked at a gas station that I walked to. Can you say loser? :raises hand:

So I talked to Monica a few times around school when I ran into her, and let me tell you, I’m very skeptical of people by nature,in fact, I’m put off by most people. I think just about everyone on the planet is an asshole. So I wasn’t real sure at first that I liked her, as she says, She’s not loud, she’s heard - and she’s right, and I typically shy from those “life of the party” types, because I’m an introvert, I’m fine being by myself, it’s cool, but she’s different - she’s infectious.

She has a way about her that when you get to know her, you know she’ll be good for you. You just know. She’ll teach you everything she knows if you want her to, no joke. She wasn’t just someone I met once and brushed off like most people, normally I don’t share friendships with people because I don’t want people knowing much about me, they always gasp and go, “Are you serious?” screw that shit. People commonly judge me - she never did…I appreciated that. She was one of the first people that said, “Let me at that bitch” if I was wronged and couldn’t understand my mother any more than I could. No one had ever been willing to defend me, fight for me or most importantly, encourage me.

Her ambition is contagious, you can’t help but want more out of life because you know her, because she’s worked her ass off all her life and it’s working out for her, she’s already living proof that hard work pays off. Nobody helped her. She didn’t want it anyway so that later no one else could take credit.

So we started hanging out and beside the drunk dialing and the mouthy bossy way about her (lol - that’s what I love about her most), she’s been nothing but good for me, she made me realize in her own little way that I had no business wasting my time, that I was smarter, better than that. I believe that now too.

Thanks to her, I’ve tried for things I wouldn’t have, I’ve had more fun than I ever thought I could have, I finally feel like I deserve my piece of the pie. There’s so much more to her than I could ever say, you only ever meet someone like her once in a lifetime. I was lucky that we met and that we became friends, we’ve both been through some hellacious things, for a time we didn’t speak - thankfully that didn’t last, I couldn’t be without her friendship, I need her in my life. She’s been my compass a lot and so sometimes even though I know what I will do in situation, I’ll run it by her, like you do with your sisters or brothers or parents or whatever.

I’ll admit to this only because I want you to know how desperate I was, and the edge I was teetering on, ten years ago I was ready to drive off a bridge because I was sure I was going nowhere and wasn’t doing anyone any good.

Depression will do that to you, your mom putting you on mind altering medication when you don’t need it will fark you up pretty good. Not to mention all the other bullshit. I was so angry and felt like life was pointless and didn’t care what happened to me, if Steven hadn’t been around I don’t think I would’ve had reason. I credit him with saving my life. And Monica, my sanity.

I truly believe that I naturally don’t trust other females because of my mother, I expect other women to be conniving, evil and sheisty…it takes a lot to make a friend out of me if you’re female.

You can’t choose family, and I love my sisters, they are the most beautiful women I know - I count Monica in that, she is my sister, just borne from a different mom :). I think of my friendship with Monica as a sisterhood, I’m strong and capable and intelligent and I learn very quickly and deep down I always knew that, but never had the ambition to live up to my potential - it takes someone telling you you’re worth it for you to know it. She was that person for me.

She’s working, probably even right now. She is the hardest working person I know. This is why you see more posts from me than her, she works two jobs and is constantly on the go.

I thought I would take some time out to let you guys know all the things I love about her and appreciate. I was in a rut and it took her knowledge, attention and belief in me to make me realize I was better than where I came from, she’s really the kind of friend you just don’t ever let go. You’re lucky to meet her, even luckier if she likes you, blessed if she loves you.

Such a good song and a good show too…
“I’ll Be There For You” by the Rembrandts.

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