Can you look at yourself in the mirror? Or, better question, when was the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror?
Are you in that place where you look at it if you’re doing something, like putting on makeup, but never just to look at yourself?
I’ve been where you are. I’ve been in that place where my favorite movie was about a divorced woman with a kid who’s ex cheated and is a complete ass. Why? Because I identified with that. I could almost feel her pain and depression and anger. I could feel it, it was mine, and it helped me to know that someone else felt like that too. Maybe not Sandra Bullock, but the person who wrote it maybe. Misery does indeed love company.
There’s a place you get to where that statement becomes more than a cliche. It becomes how you live. You want company, and you find that when you have company, you still feel terrible.
One of my favorite quotes from that favorite movie is something like, “Open the windows up and blow the stink off ya.” Our hero Sandra says, “Mama I always hated that expression” and Mama, in her infinite wisdom responds, “Honey, don’t make me say it.”
Doesn’t that say it all? The movie is Hope Floats. Great title, it says so much. Sometimes you can watch a movie that is soaked with reason, drenched in empathy and you still can’t get past your own misery. But hope does float, above everything else, it’s why you’re in this funk.
It’s why you feel bad, because you hoped for something better, and it didn’t work out for you. But you’re still reaching for that better thing, you just didn’t get it this time. The important part is not to stop reaching for that better thing.
There was this time (over 9 years ago) I was watching TV and saw an ad about going to college on the government dime all you had to do was apply and see what happened. I was in a few Honors classes in high school and thought I’d give it a shot. Mind you I come from nothing, my mom drank her money and our child support away and didn’t really give a shit about our futures. So I said what the hell, and never really saw myself going to college, because I knew I didn’t have the means. But by this time my son Steven was 11 months old and I knew (my now ex) his dad was going nowhere in life, so I was stuck like chuck unless I did something about it.
So I got on the internet at my Grandma’s house and applied for financial aid - or maybe I went to the school I don’t remember. I already lived in a different city than I graduated from so I didn’t expect to know anyone, and I was fine with that in fact the life I was living was so shameful I ran the hell out of that city because of what I’d done. I had left home at 17 and moved in with him to get away from home - mind you my mother threatened my life so it was kind of a sudden decision, but I had to get out of there I was sure she would kill me, the bitch was crazy.
So I was approved and I enrolled and a few weeks later I was chilling outside a building smoking a cigarrette and saw a former classmate of mine, and I found out later the blonde with her, Monica, was her cousin.
Long boring story short that’s how I met Monica, at the very foot of the hill that is ambition. I was so lost in life, no direction. At the time I worked at a gas station that I walked to. Can you say loser? :raises hand:
So I talked to Monica a few times around school when I ran into her, and let me tell you, I’m very skeptical of people by nature,in fact, I’m put off by most people. I think just about everyone on the planet is an asshole. So I wasn’t real sure at first that I liked her, as she says, She’s not loud, she’s heard - and she’s right, and I typically shy from those “life of the party” types, because I’m an introvert, I’m fine being by myself, it’s cool, but she’s different - she’s infectious.
She has a way about her that when you get to know her, you know she’ll be good for you. You just know. She’ll teach you everything she knows if you want her to, no joke. She wasn’t just someone I met once and brushed off like most people, normally I don’t share friendships with people because I don’t want people knowing much about me, they always gasp and go, “Are you serious?” screw that shit. People commonly judge me - she never did…I appreciated that. She was one of the first people that said, “Let me at that bitch” if I was wronged and couldn’t understand my mother any more than I could. No one had ever been willing to defend me, fight for me or most importantly, encourage me.
Her ambition is contagious, you can’t help but want more out of life because you know her, because she’s worked her ass off all her life and it’s working out for her, she’s already living proof that hard work pays off. Nobody helped her. She didn’t want it anyway so that later no one else could take credit.
So we started hanging out and beside the drunk dialing and the mouthy bossy way about her (lol - that’s what I love about her most), she’s been nothing but good for me, she made me realize in her own little way that I had no business wasting my time, that I was smarter, better than that. I believe that now too.
Thanks to her, I’ve tried for things I wouldn’t have, I’ve had more fun than I ever thought I could have, I finally feel like I deserve my piece of the pie. There’s so much more to her than I could ever say, you only ever meet someone like her once in a lifetime. I was lucky that we met and that we became friends, we’ve both been through some hellacious things, for a time we didn’t speak - thankfully that didn’t last, I couldn’t be without her friendship, I need her in my life. She’s been my compass a lot and so sometimes even though I know what I will do in situation, I’ll run it by her, like you do with your sisters or brothers or parents or whatever.
I’ll admit to this only because I want you to know how desperate I was, and the edge I was teetering on, ten years ago I was ready to drive off a bridge because I was sure I was going nowhere and wasn’t doing anyone any good.
Depression will do that to you, your mom putting you on mind altering medication when you don’t need it will fark you up pretty good. Not to mention all the other bullshit. I was so angry and felt like life was pointless and didn’t care what happened to me, if Steven hadn’t been around I don’t think I would’ve had reason. I credit him with saving my life. And Monica, my sanity.
I truly believe that I naturally don’t trust other females because of my mother, I expect other women to be conniving, evil and sheisty…it takes a lot to make a friend out of me if you’re female.
You can’t choose family, and I love my sisters, they are the most beautiful women I know - I count Monica in that, she is my sister, just borne from a different mom :). I think of my friendship with Monica as a sisterhood, I’m strong and capable and intelligent and I learn very quickly and deep down I always knew that, but never had the ambition to live up to my potential - it takes someone telling you you’re worth it for you to know it. She was that person for me.
She’s working, probably even right now. She is the hardest working person I know. This is why you see more posts from me than her, she works two jobs and is constantly on the go.
I thought I would take some time out to let you guys know all the things I love about her and appreciate. I was in a rut and it took her knowledge, attention and belief in me to make me realize I was better than where I came from, she’s really the kind of friend you just don’t ever let go. You’re lucky to meet her, even luckier if she likes you, blessed if she loves you.
Such a good song and a good show too…
“I’ll Be There For You” by the Rembrandts.
I yoinked this out of a MySpace message from my little sister. I wanted to share it with you all.
And a great little video at the end that spreads a message of maybe, and strength.
Maybe … we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.
Maybe … when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, often times, we look so long at the closed door that we don’t even see the new one which has been opened for us.
Maybe … it is true that we don’t know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don’t know what we have been missing until it arrives.
Maybe … the happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
Maybe … the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can’t go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures, and heartaches.
Maybe … you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of, and want to do.
Maybe … there are moments in life when you miss someone — a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child, your girlfriend/boyfriend — so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around you appreciate them more.
Maybe … the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.
Maybe … you should always try to put yourself in others’ shoes. If you feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person, too.
Maybe … you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone.
Maybe … giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don’t expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but if it doesn’t, be content that it grew in yours.
Maybe … happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.
Maybe … you shouldn’t go for looks; they can deceive; don’t go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one who makes your heart smile.
Maybe … you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy.
Maybe … you should try to live your life to the fullest because when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling, but when you die, you can be the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
Life is too short to be a bullshitter. We all know someone, or are someone who lies about where you come from, what you want to do in life. Being someone you think other people will like is a waste of your time. Have you forgotten your roots? Do you live everyday being someone you aren’t, looking for some way to fit in with someone, anyone? Why should you care about people who have no commitment to you?
What do you think of yourself? Did you know that is the most important thing to worry about? Are you happy with yourself when you look at you in the mirror?
Don’t you want those who love you to respect you? Do you try to earn their respect or do you expect it? No one owes you anything, but do you owe someone something?
Life doesn’t have to be as difficult as you make it by being fake. Sincerity is what people are looking for and if you aren’t sincere, chances are you have very few true friends. Don’t be afraid to be real and stop with putting up a front and being someone you are not. It’s hard to be yourself, but it’s even harder to be true to yourself if even you don’t know who you are.
Success is not for the chosen few, but the few who choose it.
Sundays we sit and act cocky and relish our posts for the week and your reader comments, which are always refreshing. For our first week, I would say we did pretty damn good, garnered a little interest and we’re hoping to spread the word even more.
We love it when you add your two cents and want to hear that a lot. So more of that now, you ARE MouthyGirls right?
On Monday, Monica wrote about One Night Stands and how it’s not the end of the world as you know it, like some may have you believe.
Tuesday was a planning and gathering day for MouthyGirl, and One Night Stands remained up to be soaked in.
Wednesday we brought you a great video hosted by MouthyGirl, “Fake It” by Seether. The point of that post was to show that even famous people who are caught up in the life easily recognize the hypocrisy that we see on T.V. and in magazines. Our lives are not airbrushed.
Thursday, I vented about the Northern Illinois school shooting because I think it’s insane and don’t understand why it keeps happening. Give all the professors guns, or post a guard inside every room or something, this has got to stop!
***Casey popped over from DailyTelecommuter.com and said she likes the way we think and our design. Thanks Casey, we know you have great taste!
Saturday I asked if you have enough friends because if you could use another, we raise our hand quietly over by the window to be that friend. We even posted a cheesy song to start our friendship and tell you that you can lean on us.
I’m glad you’re here and I think you should check out the posts I mentioned and many many more by sticking around. Tell us what you’re after in life, share your opinions and know that you won’t be shushed here.
We would like to see the best in all people, ideally, but our ever logical side also tells us that not everyone is trustworthy. The other aspect of friendship is that there are levels of trust.
Some people you come across in life, you can tell a semi-secret too and trust it will never be told, but that same person you wouldn’t trust to take care of your children. Then there are those people that would bring you soup when you were sick, come and take you shopping if you were without a means to do so, etc. Those kinds of friends are caretaker friends, but that too doesn’t always mean you can trust them with everything.
I think that we can’t possibly define only one kind of friend. We need friends on different levels, sometimes you have a group of friends that complete a sort of puzzle, which is unique and wonderful.
What I’m saying here I guess is that we need a lot of different kinds of friends in life.
We can definitely survive without friendship, there is no question of that. It’s a common story often heard about women that marry and have children and their life becomes just that, husband and children, suddenly all of her friendships have dwindled and they’ve stopped calling her because she’s too busy and yet she survives. It’s not impossible.
However, there is a freedom in friendship, certain friendships even lend a shoulder to cry on and even as tough as we are, sometimes we have to have that. We need to have that friend we can call and just get it off our chest however it comes, crying, yelling - and they listen. The great friend they are, they’re on the other end sympathizing and understanding. Wishing that they could help make it better, just because they care enough.
Life is not a cakewalk. A lot of people wish they could be a kid again to escape the harshness of adult life, the responsibility. Childhood wasn’t great for me so there iss no childhood utopia for me to speak of fondly, I wouldn’t dream of going back there.
BUT - there were a few last minute road trips that Monica and I took years ago that were liberating and exhilarating and as close to utopia as I can imagine. For those of us that had it rough during our childhood, it’s very important to have friends that can also fill that need to let loose, they encourage you to quit being so damn serious and let your hair down and act crazy.
It’s fun. Acting like a dumb kid. We were just some “dumb college kids” on a beautiful beach, the pressures of being a single mom couldn’t touch me there, that was clearly one of the “good times” that I’ll talk about when I’m senile.
We need many friends, some would even call it a support system, and even if you are reading this and this makes you sad because you are secluded in your own life and can’t reach out at this point, you can reach out to us. You can comment here and be part of our lives. You can tell us what irks you, what hurts you, what motivates you and what’s holding you back. We understand it’s not always how we want it to be, we’ll be that friend you can lean on that will understand and listen, wishing we could make it go away for you.
If you’re reading this, we already know we like you. We know already that you have good taste. If MouthyGirl.com appealed to you, we’re here for exactly what you think. To be Mouthy!
I’m sure you’ve all heard about the school shooting in Northern Illinois by now, four dead, many more injured. What in the Hell is wrong with people? Is this something these wierdos fantasize about doing because they think it’s cool? What the Hell? I just cannot wrap my head around it.
I have a question for you - when was the last time we heard of a female doing something like this? I can’t think of any, there are indeed some horrendous crimes committed by women to speak of, no doubt about that. But these things almost always end up being the result of some stressed out kid who “didn’t know how to deal”. I call bullshit on that. He’s a sociopath is what the problem is and nobody stopped him. I just don’t understand it at all.
I wonder what we’re going to find out in the coming days about this murderer.
Thanks Casey, we know you have great taste! 
