This was the first installment shared on MommyTalk.com and I had to share it with you all because I knew you would appreciate it. 🙂
Time Flies When You’re Dating Mr. Wrong
by M. A. Singleton
It seems like everyone is married. I’m not exaggerating either. I’ve been to six weddings in the past 9 months (thankfully, I only had to stand up in two). A few years ago I scoffed at the idea that some of my early-blooming friends were getting hitched, but now, I’m scoffing a little less and searching for Mr. Right a little more.
I knew it was getting serious when my roommate of late, the ETERNALLY SINGLE girl whose longest relationships spanned five months at best (with him cheating on her the entire time), moved out of my house and into an apartment with (sigh) her boyfriend and their dog.
Anyway, time flies when you’re dating Mr. Wrong.
And, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. My last boyfriend, whom I kicked to the curb just short of Valentine’s Day, turned out to be a complete psychopath. I recently read this article (although a few years old, I found it interesting) about relationships:
“Of course, in most cases there isn’t just one reason a romantic relationship goes south. We asked respondents to list as many reasons as applied for their last breakup, and commitment problems and lack of passion were near the top of the list.”
Here is what my percentages would be for my last three breakups (starting with the most recent):
Breakup 1 – 100% certifiable nut-job
Breakup 2 – 35% egotistical jerk, 65% pothead
Breakup 3 – 95% weirdo, 5% creepy potential serial killer
The problem with me is that I am a monkey. Ok, that sounded a bit odd, but it’s true. Picture a monkey swinging from vines in a jungle. The monkey holds tightly onto one vine while it reaches for another. It does not let go of the first vine until it has a secure, tight grip on the second. I do that with boys. I’m a relationship jumper, which someone far more knowledgeable than me recently pointed out probably leads me to bad boys and dysfunctional DBs (short for douche bags, excuse my French).
So, I decided that I need to either kick this bad habit or become a lesbian. So, I am going on a serious dating extravaganza. I’m talking serious, mega, HUGE – starting tonight! I am not, repeat, am not, getting back into a relationship until I go on a TON of dates, good, bad and ugly.
I am excited to share my crazy stories with you as I embark on this crazy journey.
Wish me luck – I’ll need it.
Wasn’t that great? Tell me how you liked it and I may put the next one up here if you really enjoy it, I know I did.