Have you ever met someone who you were put off by immediately because of they way they acted? Like they were better than their surroundings and thusly, better than you? Ever try to talk to someone who seemed to be in another place while you were trying to hold a conversation with them?
Normally we expect people to be warm and friendly and quick to smile when we engage them in conversation. But what about those times where you smile and start a conversation with someone who doesn’t seem interested, or worse, doesn’t respond at all? Do you give those people another chance after your first impression of them? Do you make sure to tell everyone you thought that person was a jerk or was rude?
Now, imagine having a 50 hour a week job managing three people who are underpaid and don’t want to work, add to that a husband and two children ages 8 and 5, add to that three best friends, a mother and two sisters who call intermittently expecting you to stop, drop and chat for at least an hour. Add to that laundry for four people, dishes for four people every night and dinner to cook for four people.
Then there’s the work you brought home because there would be no other time to do it. Overwhelmed yet? Throw in a car in the shop, so you’re carpooling with hubby, which means you both have to get up earlier and someone’s doing double driving duty to get the kids to daycare in the morning and the birthday party that still needs to be planned for next week.
Now are you overwhelmed? This is a typical workday for most people, female or male, we all have a hell of a load to carry on a normal basis, we are a very stressed out people. If you’re a person who has all these hats to wear everyday and manages it, and even has the audacity to manage it well, a little confidence and pride is in order.
Sometimes confidence can be mistaken for cockiness to others and give the impression that we are pompous or rude, or worse, better than everyone else. I’ve been guilty of putting off that vibe and I have a friend who is constantly getting a bad rep because of the way she comes off to people, but as my friend I know her better than that. I know that she’d give the shirt off her back if someone needed it. I know that last year when she saw a fire off a country road and no fire trucks she pulled right over and ran inside, without for a second thinking of herself. I know that she’s fought through trials and tribulations like none I’ve ever seen and that anyone who calls her cocky or pompous can’t possibly know anything about her.
I believe those of us that have confidence issues or inferiority issues, have a big problem with the confidence of others. Confident, successful people walk with their heads held high and their eyes on the future and the prize, and won’t let things get in the way of their goals, they feel they’ve paid their dues and they want to collect on their hard work. How dare they!
Some of us make judgments before we even talk to a person. There is one problem with this method; deciding what type of person someone may be before letting them affect that decision is shortsighted and will only serve to keep you from knowing some really fabulous people.
Have you been guilty of judging someone without truly knowing them? I know I have been, and I know I’ve also been mistaken for a cocky and pompous person and wanted another chance to show I am not at all that way..
Have you been accused of being cocky, rude or pompous? How did you react and did you do anything to change the persons’ mind?