Complicated

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You ever have problems getting your family or friends to understand your life is different now that you have a family? Are you the reliable member of the family? The one that everyone counts on to do the right thing?

Being a reliable person is a place of great responsibility, people will expect things of you that they wouldn’t necessarily expect out of others.

They’ll call you when they have problems, sometimes big and most of the time small and expect you to help, drop everything you’re doing and come help. Family and friends are used to calling on you and you being able to help them, but then when your family situation changes and your priorities change, this can cause big problems for those who are used to calling when they need you.

One of the hardest things to do with family and friends is placing boundaries that weren’t there before. Letting them know that your priorities have changed and your spouse and children come first, before them. If anything friends are harder to explain this to. My best friend is still single and in school part time and partying on the weekends, meanwhile I go home every night and am in bed by 10:30 to be ready for work the next day.

While inside I’d like to be that hard partying girl that I used to be, I love my life now and the peace of it. The comfort of having someone to come home to is nice, so the sleepovers don’t happen anymore, the last minute trips to Galveston or Padre, not so much but thankfully she’s understanding.

I still hang out with her, but between her busy social, work and school life, and my life, we don’t see each other so much anymore. Our relationship has changed, but we’re not any less friends because of it. We certainly talk on the phone a lot more now than we used to.

šŸ˜†

Did your family and friends naturally understand your priorities changed as your family situation did, or did you have a few hold outs you had to push along?

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5 thoughts on “Complicated

  1. I agree that it’s important still to include your friends, we all need a “good friend and a glass of wine” every so often to let our hair down. There are so may benefits to maintaining a somewhat social life after marriage. We can’t always vent to the spouse.
    šŸ˜‰

    MouthyGirls last blog post..Complicated

  2. I watched my single sister get the shaft from tons of her friends after they got married, so when I got married, I made a point to get together with friends.

    While my new family comes first, my husband and I have had lots of talks about the importance of friends and how a girl needs girl time and a guy needs guy time.

    So, I think that my friends were understanding, but I also tried to proactively maintain the friendships to help them not feel like I fell of the planet.

    My best friend got married a year after me, and we never talk anymore. She uses the excuse of being married, but I’m like, “Honey, I’m married with 2 kids, and I still got together with you while you were single. I think you could have some time for me even though you now have a husband!”

    She didn’t do anything to pro-actively keep our relationship going (I am still always the one to initiate interactions), so that was hurtful to me.

    Sarah Chias last blog post..Music Monday: Free Music from OurStage.com

  3. I kind of know what you’re saying, for myself, family comes first, definitely. I mean, my friends are great and fantastic, but family is who I spend the most time with. I do make sure I spend time with them too, just like you call your friend. I’ll try not to “ditch” or avoid them too much, but I do tell them that family is first and I think they all understand what I mean by that. I did have to push it a few times, such as when they wanted to go shopping on Sunday or something, haha, but now they understand and respect me.

  4. I dont think anyone understood, My dad calls me all the time and wants me to fly over to his house for one reason or another, dihes need done, some weeding in the flower beds, something always needs a girls touch over there. I did finally ahve to tell him that I have my own home and my own fmaily that need tending to and whenI’m done doing that I’m spent my life with my family is a 24 hr job and if you need me we will have to plan that a lil while in advance. he still calls and expects me to come over like NOW but I never do I always fill a slot on my schedule that is running in my head with him. it works out but i think he gets saddened by it.

  5. Hubby and I have been married for 8 years and his mother STILL doesn’t get it that, for Hubby, our son and I come first. She still thinks she should be able to call him, have him drop everything, and have him run to her “rescue.” She is very controlling and I don’t think she’ll ever give up trying. Thankfully, Hubby gets it and tells her no. Often. šŸ˜‰

    Kias last blog post..Things That Are Scary For Little Man

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