I Miss My Little Man

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**Warning** this will be a mushy post.

I always said that if I had any children at all, I wanted a boy first and I’d think about more later. I got that at first go, so I consider myself lucky. What this boy has brought to my life has been amazing, and life saving.

He turned 11 a few weeks ago and we’re used to the idea now. Sort of. My sisters all have toddlers or infants and they’re all at that adorable age where they’re talking and discovering and walking and they’re so much fun, because you’re their hero. You’ve shown them all they know so you’re the first person they look to when they discover something new and want to know what it is, you get to see those looks of wonder and amazement firsthand. The curiosity in their eyes as they wait, sometimes not so patiently, for you to find the kid words to explain it to them.

And they’ll hug and kiss without protest and they’re learning how to make people laugh, etc. It’s a magical time that I have very very fond memories of as you can see. 😳

I miss the days when my son looked at me like I was his hero and like I was so smart and could teach him everything he needed to know. How foolish of me to not try to stop time for a few seconds at a time to cherish those moments a little better.

There are joys to him being the age he is, he can make his own snacks and drinks and he can play outside unattended and he can gather his laundry and clean his own room (whether it’s actually done or not) he can do his chores (when he’s reminded) and he can feed the cats if I forget.

But I miss when I could say, “Give Mommy a kiss” and he would pucker up, cuz he loved his mommy. If I tried that now, I can’t imagine the look I would get. He’s trying out all sorts of new stuff, his sense of humor, his smart aleck, all of it, we’re the guinea pigs.

I used to call him Little Man, but can’t anymore because he’s as tall as me and his feet have outgrown mine. We’re entering a dangerous phase in life. Munchkin was another nickname that I can’t call him by anymore as it couldn’t be further from the truth.

When he was smaller and it was just he and I, I tried really hard to foster a positive relationship with him because I had to be Mom and Dad at such a critical age for him, I wanted him to relate me to having fun too, so we’d go to dinner and a movie once a week and rent movies on another night of the week and share a lot of time together as buds.

He’s such a reflection of me at times, but I realize that now he’ll be turning into his own person, changing in ways that aren’t like me. I always tried to treat him with respect and I was never above apologizing when I was wrong, so I think if he keeps those qualities and adds a few more, he’ll be a great guy one day.

Soon I may start up our “date night” again, just so he knows I still value our relationship and want him to be able to talk to me or us about any problem he should ever have.

I wish he were little again sometimes when I see my niece being sweet, or my nephews, but then I remember the diapers and the potty training and the sick days and worry over fevers and the finickiness over his food that we’re finally starting to break him of…

I miss the little guy, but the Tweener he’s turned into is pretty cool too.

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3 thoughts on “I Miss My Little Man

  1. Girl, dont get me thinkin. my B just turned Six and he aint my lil guy any more or my baby boy…:( i iss the baby days. but he too is turning into afreakin cool ass lil kid! homie ask for sublime for his bday this yr:) and nirvana nevermind:) gotta love that!

  2. Aww, this post truly was a nice one to read! When I saw that it would be “mushy,” well, I just had to read slowly, hehe. I love how you know that there are pros/cons to having him be a Little Man again. It’s these moments that truly last with us forever and that’s why I think I should definitely start writing a journal or something.

  3. I don’t have children yet, but like you, I want my first one to be a boy. I just feel that connection with boys. I look forward to infant and toddler stages and also the preteen stages. But am also conflicted as to having my own or adopting.
    I want to experience those younger years and I will do everything to cherish them!

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