MouthyGirl Rules of the Road

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Today, we’re going to talk about traffic. No actually, we’re not, we’re going to talk about MouthyGirl Rules of the Road.

I am and have always been a defensive driver, in high school quite a few of my classmates perished in car accidents, that I’m sure could’ve been prevented in some form or fashion. Showing me gory scenes of those in accidents scared me so badly that I’ve always been a paranoid driver to a certain extent.

That being said, I get really pissed off when I notice there are others on the road that have no business being there. Let me give you just a few examples of the rules according to MouthyGirl.

Driving the speed limit in the fast lane. If that’s the best you can do, kindly get over into the middle, or right lane and let the rest of us pass your slow ass.

Getting onto the highway at less than the posted speed limit. You’re supposed to merge into the flow of traffic, not make everyone slow down behind you.

Hurrying up to jump in front of me and then slowing down. If there were ever a justification for road rage (and there never is), this is it.

Riding my ass on the highway. This bothers me because it is not only INCREDIBLY STUPID, it’s dangerous for both of us. I am in the habit of slowing down to make someone go around me when that happens because I assure you if you are on MY ass, you are going WAY TOO FAST! I know this because I’m usually doing at least 15-20 miles over the posted speed limit. Ssssh! Don’t tell the cops. šŸ˜‰

Not maintaining your lane because you’re on the phone. The highway is not the place to socialize. If you can’t control yourself then take backroads to the places you need to be so that if you do come out of your lane, you’ll be in a ditch and you can leave the rest of us the fuck alone.

You’re too scared to drive the car. You know what I’m talking about because they’re the people that when you pass them they look positively petrified of the road and the car and everything around them.

Slowing down when there’s an accident, a road crew, someone with a flat tire, i.e. Rubbernecking. I know you’re attracted to the pretty lights and all, but resist the temptation to stare and just keep it moving. It’s not reality TV and they’re not going to win anything, I promise.

Feel free by all means to add your thoughts and suggestions, and your rules in the comments, I’d like to have a comprehensive list here and one day, maybe I’ll make a page out of it. And to the driving instructors of the world, please share this with your students, because they, by far, are the worst on the road.

With that I’ll leave you with a song that I believe expresses my feelings about this whole topic quite well. Let’s take a short break for some Ludacris shall we?



3 thoughts on “MouthyGirl Rules of the Road

  1. OMG!!!! You are on target with this shit!!!

    I am the cut-off-queen. If someone wants to fuck with me when I am driving it is game-on!. Do not get in front of me if you are old, lame or stupid I will run your ass off the road. No joke, no lie, I don’t play when I drive. That Ludacris song is my mantra on the way to and from work e-v-e-r-y day!

    Debo Hobos last blog post..The Other Airline Gas Crisis

  2. DUDE. I almost got killed last week! A young woman with long blonde hair and giant sunglasses, driving a black escalade (with a friend) and clutching a starbucks decided that stop signs are optional and drove right through it…ONE CAR LENGTH IN FRONT OF ME.
    Thank GOD for defensive driving.

    Ps – If you can’t drive Daddy’s car? Park it.

    Double Agent Girls last blog post..Wit 1 : Skidmark 0

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