Today’s post is a guest post from Wendy. I’ve been reading her blogs for a long while and admired her style and conviction just as long. In this the most critical of times, she has some enlightening words for you, if you happen to still be undecided.
Every four years I get stuck in what I like to call “Election Mode”. I become obsessed with the election. I check the polling numbers daily on CNN, ABC, Yahoo, Fox News, and RealClearPolitics.com. I read the political news, and watch all the political commentary. I read the Huffingtonpost and the National Review. I research all the conspiracy theories. I even read most of the comments at the bottom of news stories. That is usually the source of the conspiracy theories.
My obsession with elections is probably an illness, but let’s not go there.
I can’t help but think that this election is different. I mean, a black guy and a woman are both on the top of the ticket! So two weeks til the election, I would think that everyone had figured out who the hell they are voting for. Really, this election has gone on FOREVER.
Today, I checked the poll numbers again, and I see that 7% of you still haven’t made up your dang minds. Who the hell are you people? What is it that leaves you undecided? I don’t get it.
If you want to vote for Barack, but you’re scared ‘cause he might be a one man sleeper cell…I think Bush woulda locked him up in Gitmo by now. Don’t you? Seriously folks, that Bush is tough on terrorists and guys who pal around with terrorists.
If you want to vote for McCain, but you think he might die and that dumb ass woman will become President, let me make this clear: Todd will be runnin’ stuff around here and he’s got guns and stuff to keep us safe and warm. So don’t worry.
All I got to say is make up your damn minds! Besides, if you choose the wrong guy and he wins, a bunch of other nuts made the same mistake. Therefore, you can vote without guilt.
I hope I’ve made your decision easier. And if you still can’t decide, give me a call. I’ve done your research for you. I can tell you who to vote for. Lazy ass.
And NOW for some real comedy relief: