Last night my son asked me how to add friends on myspace. Let me remind you that the boy just turned 12. My question in response was, why do you have a myspace page?
Granted I don’t think I’ve talked about social networking with him before, he had to lie to gain access and pretend he was 18. Not cool, one of my big rules (of the four main rules we have) is not lying. Being honest is a quickly dying characteristic but I have always been honest and expect the same of him, and told him so.
It was a long discussion as I reviewed my preteens web history, and kind of depressing as I realised that we needed to have “The Talk”. I explained to my son that there are reasons that grown people limit access to certain things to children, that his job is not to second guess people that are trying to protect him from bad things and people. His job is to enjoy being a kid while he still can, don’t rush growing up because you can’t go back.
I mean, let’s be real, I know he didn’t listen to half of what I said but when I asked which was harder, listening to Mom bitch for an hour at him or following the rules, he realised, the rules are simple and I pointed out that the rules are the same, it’s his decision to follow them that changes.
I’m a realistic parent and I told him I know he wants to look at naked chicks, I know he’s curious about sex and that the time for those activities will come, but it’s not here yet!
I have always kept the rules simple and plain, I feel it’s only fair to be up front and honest with your kids with the exception of one thing, a huge pet peeve of mine, DO NOT TELL YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT YOUR DIVORCE! It is not fair to involve a child in an adult situation. I hate hearing about women and men telling their children details of a divorce, yesterday on the radio a woman was on a talk show who had told her 9 year old that his father had considered an abortion.
These are the kind of people I’m talking about, what a nasty bitch! That’s gonna backfire on her though when her child gets older and realises that his mom told him one of the most hurtful things you can tell a child, that he was not wanted. You DO NOT make you babies a pawn in the divorce game, and telling kids things like that should get your parenting license revoked. Oh wait, there’s no such thing. I think you’ll agree there should be.
Back to the matter at hand, we expect the boy to be honest, not to cheat, lie, or steal and to pull his weight (he has a few chores), these are not just our rules, they are more or less the law of the land. Pretty simple, no?
Why is it so hard for the kid? For that matter why is it so hard for everyone to follow those simple rules?