Getting it Off My Chest

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I’m sure that everyone has experienced a week where everything seemed to go in every other direction than the way you planned. If you are anything like me, you get really mad when things go wrong that are totally out of your control. A couple of things went wrong for me in the past week. I will not bore you with the details. But I will tell you this: when something in my personal and professional life pisses me off, the rest of the world better be on its best behavior or they are going to hear about it. Apparently the rest of the world didn’t get the memo. World, get ready ‘cause here it comes.

To Democrats: Get your crap together. I swear you are all over the place. Can you guys and gals please start singing from the same hymn book? You guys are looking at the polls and you think people aren’t approving of what you are doing because they don’t want health care reform. They aren’t approving because you are being spineless wimps or are confusing the hell out of folks. Man up, and do this damn thing.

To Right-wing radio/TV/blogs: The president of the United States is entitled to a week off without your bitchin’ and moaning that he needs to be around to run the country. You guys constantly say that liberals look at him as the Messiah, but it is you who thinks the guy shouldn’t eat, sleep, or shit for the next 4 years. You know, I may have my biblical history wrong, but I think even Jesus ate and slept. You also think that he should just be able to snap his fingers and everything that is broken will be made whole. Really, let’s face the truth here. You just want to wear him down. Screw you. If your president could spend half his time playing cowboy in Crawford, my president can take a week off at the beach. And yes, I’ve heard you say it: he’s not YOUR president. Screw you. Again.

To Wal-mart: I noticed you changed the packaging on your Great Value brand, but that doesn’t give you the right to hike your prices. First of all, the packaging doesn’t bring any added value. In fact, it is less attractive and more generic than your old packaging. What is inside the packaging even seems to taste worse. I know that it is psychological, and I will overcome, because I know the reason you are doing it is to force me to spend more money on the higher priced name brand items. Ever since Sam Walton died, I’ve thought the company was taken over by soulless vampires. This confirms it.

To Corporations: I see that you are starting to report profits. Good for you. But I know it’s not because consumers are happily spending money in your establishments. It’s because you have cut your employees wages and benefits. Your workers are 20% more productive, but yet their personal incomes are falling. You get away with it because other people are losing their jobs, and people are content with just having a job. Meanwhile, your CEOs are still getting fat bonus checks and salaries. This will backfire, though. Sooner or later the economy will turn around, and the ones that toiled for you thanklessly will become the new employee for your competitor. So bask in your glory that you managed to turn a profit in a down economy, but know that your employees will remember when the getting is good. And as they walk out your door, they’ll just smile and say, “hey, it’s nothing personal, it’s the economy!”

Wow, I feel better now! Now what would you like to get off your chest?

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2 thoughts on “Getting it Off My Chest

  1. Although you have comitted blasphemy against the United States of Wal-Mart, great post!
    Great Value does suck. I never know if I’m scanning a box of cornmeal or douche. I can’t figure out why they changed the packaging. None of them even scan easily like they did before. And I hate that pathetic pause I have to do with each product.
    You know what sucked the most about the tax-free weekend? The final three hours of it when parents realized they hadn’t done their back-to-school shopping and then got angry with me as all 100 of them lined up at the self-check out. Angry at me… because they couldn’t scan and bag the items as well as I could have. Then they still lined up when I was trying desperately to shut down the lines so I could go home and sleep.
    I forgot what my point was.
    I guess I just needed to get that off MY chest. 😈

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