Yesterday I received some scary news from a person close to me, my bff. I’ve loved my bff since the day I met her and have always felt protective of her and this new has come as a shocking reality to how cold life can be.
We’ve all heard stories of fighters, leaders of men and strong people who have gone through hell and made it back to a normal, seemingly normal life. My bff is a hero in her own right, a leader of men and a fierce opponent to all who cross her. From a very young age we shared a common bond, a tumultuous, often fearful life. We shared our grievances of life as young adults and despite a significant age difference, always maintained a like frame of mind, a mutual respect and love. We’ve held each other’s hands through hard times, uplifted each other and stayed as close as we can though our personal lives have their additions and distractions. There is no other person on the planet that is as close to my heart as she.
There’s been scary news before and my bff fought it like only the strongest among us can, with her chin up and her heart strong. We thought she may never have children after her daughter, but she now has a beautiful son as well. As I write this I weep for her, and admittedly I cried on the phone even though I was trying so hard to maintain my composure, to be there for her as she needed me to be. I am weak and cannot imagine how hard that call must have been for her, how she didn’t crumble into self pity as I might’ve is beyond me. She is as strong as the world could ever ask her to be.
Things like this defy logic to me, these problems come to those that least deserve it and I know that it could still be nothing, as I said to her yesterday. It could completely be an irrelevant issue when it’s tested and this could all be an exercise in recognizing our mortality. At least we can honestly say whatever it is has to have been caught somewhat early, as it’s only a piece upon an organ, but it’s a scary little fucking piece of the unknown.
I can only hope one day I can be a fighter like she is. My bff is incredibly important to me and all that know and love her, she is strong, independent, funny and beautiful. She shares a lot of qualities with you and me, she tries her best to make everyone happy and tries to save a little for herself too. To those of you that are religious please say a prayer for her, to those of you that are not, send a nice thought out into the universe for her please, anything can help in this time of the unknown.
To my bff, I love you and I am here for you in any way that you need me to be.