Mortality and Facing It

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I was visiting with my Dad a few days ago when he announced that he has Early Onset Alzheimers and that he’s taking medication but that he feels it will end badly. I knew he had it, he just was finally diagnosed and accepting treatment for it. He had a stroke a year and a half ago and it’s been rough since then. It changed him, he’s working still and is amazed that he can and still does it well but when you’ve been doing something all your life, it’s second nature.

When I was younger my Dad always seemed immortal to me, I know I’m not the only one who thought that way about their Dad. He was my hero for a long time, the big guy that could fix any car, with so many people into cars, I tried to absorb as much knowledge about them as I could, sadly it didn’t stick.

I’ve taken for granted that my family is getting older, I am self involved and caught up in my own little world so much that I forget sometimes that my time here is short, I don’t have a lot to spare and definitely not any to waste.

I hurt inside that he’s so fearful of the outcome that faces him. I see the fear in his eyes, the terror at losing control, forgetting the things that he’s known and having watched my Grandmother’s memory fade until she didn’t even recognize him, I don’t blame him for being so terrified, I’m terrified.

Folks, it’s a real bitter pill for me to swallow, I love my Dad and I love my Mom and everyone in my family even though I’ve been a contentious bitch to them all at some time or for a period of time, I love them and want them to be here forever and no matter what I hope they all know that.

I don’t like seeing my Dad like that, especially since I’m not in a position to help financially if necessary – that freaks me out a lot.

Do you have severe illness in your family? How are you coping? Please discuss.

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Push It

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I’ve been guilty of dropping the ball on projects I’ve started, so far none of my unfinished business has been a big deal. Thankfully.

There are a few things I have had as long term goals and I overall my bigger goals have always been in the back of my mind, pushing me to work harder, learn new things and take risks. I’ve steadily made progress towards my goals and have even reached a few personal milestones. Motivation is key.

Motivation is a word that sounds much more complicated than it really is, its made to sound like this daunting mountain “motivation” that has two sides and both are uphill.

Do you want things? Have you worked to get things before? Of course you have. Look who’s motivated!

It really is that simple.

If you want to achieve your goals, there are some basic rules that must be observed. Don’t act like a know it all because you don’t know it ALL, ask questions when you get the opportunity of the people who are where you want to be, emulate them and realise they too are human.

Be real, be you and work hard. Not everyone can be born into a wealthy family, define wealthy in your terms and go get it.

I’m still working to get to my goals, and I will reach them one by one, my methods are proven and working.

What are you’re major goals, your terms of success? I’m guilty of not giving myself credit, are you? Do you hold out on praising yourself for your achievements even when someone else recognizes you for them?

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Filing Taxes

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It’s that time of year when everyone is getting W2’s in the mail and thinking about the….IRS.

Well, tax time for me hasn’t been the bane of my existence it is for some of you, because it’s not like I’m making mad bank, I get by. So tax time for me usually means I’ll get a little bit back and that’s nice.

After doing my taxes last night and preparing to do J’s taxes tonight, I did the numbers and realized that last year was rougher than I really thought, I’m glad I have a positive mindset because if I’d been realistic about my unemployed situation and J’s reduced work time situation I might have lost my mind. We lost $10,000.00 last year.

When that realization hit me I was shocked, I hadn’t expected that. So to 2009, good riddance, I won’t miss that year at all, I’ll never forget it ever but I certainly never want to go through that crap again. So here’s my gift to you, the cycle that the IRS is paying out on…you know in case you’re getting a little back too. 😉

Refund payouts based on when filed..

Just so you guys know, if you go to IRS.gov you can see if you qualify to file your taxes for free, all you need are your w2’s and your children’s information if you’re claiming any, it’s really easy to file online, I’d recommend H&R Block because of their guarantee and I’ve been using them for several years and they’re system is really easy to use.

Smile!

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It’s My Blog and I’ll Whine if I Want to

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Pssst.

Psssssssst!

Is anybody here?

(echo)

(echo)

Good. Fuck Wednesday. Fuck every day of the week and fuck traffic! Last night a 20 minute detour on the way home turned into an hour. AN HOUR!

Some dumbass crashed into another on a 2 lane highway. Genius! I had my car in park on the freeway. What’s worse is I’m having car problems and when I idle, the engine will miss and act like its going to die. Fortunately in park it doesn’t do that.

But holy shitballs, I was in park on the highway! I’ve managed to make it thru life so far having only had one accident when a dumbass old man pulled out in front of me on a rainy day, what is wrong with you people out there? The roads are not the place to play demo derby!

Dumbasses.

Anybody here yet?

HELLO?

(echo)

(echo)

Heh. Glad I got that off my chest. What’s your worst traffic story?

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