Don’t Be Mad

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Talking with my sister a few days ago we were discussing life and talking the way sisters do when she told me that her husband had said she was mean, she kind of smirked when she said that. When she protested he said “No, you’re just like your sister”. LOL! She took it as a compliment.

There are worse things in life than being like me. I do have a reputation, at least it seems to me that I do, for being mean…blunt or very straightforward is what I like to call it. I’ve never been the one to BS people or lie to make someone else happy, not at the risk of my conscience, and I won’t apologize for it.

Life is too short to build it on lies or BS.. that’s kid stuff, you have to outgrow it.

We both approach people with caution and life with gusto, its people that you have to be wary of, they will lie until you don’t know what’s true anymore. Especially the people that want something from you. Is it jaded to approach life like that? Yes, I’m sure it is, but people who really love you will wait and work to gain your trust and they won’t break it, ever.

People say I’m mean, and that’s ok – I’ve been called worse ๐Ÿ˜‰ People don’t mess with me, they don’t bring drama to my doorstep and the important people know who to see when they need support, or the truth.

I will not mince words if someone asks my opinion. The worst thing you can do to me is ask what I think or ask me a question and get mad at the answer. I will be honest, don’t get mad.

What is hard for people like my sister and I is when our trust is broken, we forgive readily because we love completely but once that trust in someone is broken…. it is only a matter of time before it all comes undone. Some people can live with it, good for them, I’m just not one of them.

I live by a few principles that I expect my counterparts to live by as well, don’t cheat, don’t lie and don’t hurt anyone if you can help it. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

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It Was Like This

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Do you ever have those moments in time where everything is just sort of surreal all at once? Like you look at what you’re doing right at that moment as if you’re watching someone else?

I went out late last night to get something at the grocery store and as I’m rolling with the windows down, I Wish You Were Here playing on the radio, it all seemed like part of a cheesy movie I would probably watch that would remind me of old things and feelings and be all about some regular girl leading a regular life… you know a cable movie.

Do you know what I mean? Its an introspective thing I guess and I’m never good at explaining this type of thing but I’ll try again. I was a little irritated when I left and as I’m prone to do in my internal dialogues I was running through my history and looking at how I’ve gotten where I am and that sort of thing. Thinking of a few things I should have finished that would have me in a better situation and things like that.

Then out of nowhere it hits me that dammit – I’m doing okay for myself. That’s when that surreal moment struck. Its not the first time I’ve experienced it and in my mind the memories that hit me all look like those movie scenes where all the edges are white and everyone sounds like they’re underwater and laughing…its weird.

Growing up I always saw my mom struggle and I thought she was smart so if she wasn’t making it how in the world was my dumb ass gonna make it? I always thought I would be screwed. But I’m not and I see her for what she was then and me for who I am and I really am doing okay for myself.

Intertwined with this movie moment and memories lie all the things that remind me of where I come from and that I really should be doing better. I have accepted mediocrity in situations where I should have demanded excellence, of myself. I have done that and I’m guilty of starting things that lead to success, but not finishing them.

I’m guilty of letting what I think of me infect what I can do for me. Isn’t it strange what we do to ourselves?

So I had a “movie moment” and I’m doing okay for myself…okay just isn’t enough. I still recognize that for me there is a lot of room for improvement. There is a large piece of the pie waiting for me somewhere and it holds beautiful places and things and a comfy retirement…sooner than later.

I’m off to get mine.

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Wasted Youth

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There’s an expression that “…youth is wasted on the young’, I don’t know who said it. I never understood that until recently. Now? I’m determined to find a way to recapture that youth.

I’ve met people who have incredible internal energy without a need for caffiene, etc. I wish I had that natural energy still! They make me very jealous because I’m dependant.

I have to confess, its easy for me to pick up a habit. Like coffee, if the coffee is good I’ll likely drink too much. I have the same problem with whiskey ๐Ÿ˜‰ though that vice is admittedly more fun.

Back to the topic though, youth being wasted on the young, truer words were never spoken. No matter how hard I try to impart my knowledge to my son, he resists. Such is the attitude of the young. I could save him so much time, energy and effort, and I hope one day he remembers what I’ve told him.

I wonder what it is about our youth that makes us so determined to reinvent the wheel and learn everything the hard way? Were you a rare one that learned from others in your youth?

How do you get through to your children? Do you think they listen? What’s the most important lesson you think there is for your child(ren) to learn from you?

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