Waking Up

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I feel like I’ve been sleeping. MouthyGirl took a rest, lol.  I’m making changes, as mentioned..this weekend I’m going to a salon, getting a little color in my hair, it’s been a very long time since I did that. I’m thing about getting a mani/pedi as well.  Just to be a girl about it. 

Things are looking up and the holidays are coming, always fun. I am not religious, wouldn’t even call myself spiritual really but I do enjoy the excuse to be around family. I’m learning to appreciate everyone in my family in a different way, this holiday season should be fun.

How have you guys been? Speak up…

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Monday and Music

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I start my days with cartoons and follow those with music.  I try to be a positive person, thats much easier since I stopped watching the news in the morning. At the same time, sometimes I feel a little out of touch with the outside world.

I guess that’s better than worrying about things I can’t change.  Basketball season has started again and the funny thing about that is that in the preseason I realize how domestic I’ve become because I start getting tired in the third quarter, lol. I’m excited nonetheless, I love watching basketball because its exciting and fast…not to mention the talent.  😉 

I’ve been enjoying a few new cd’s that I think you should check out.  The new Ozzy cd is pretty badass, it stars off rocking pretty hard and leads into more docile, storytelling Ozzy and I like that, may not be for everyone though.  I have really been enjoying the new Eminem album Recovery, in fact if you liked White America and the early Em, go get the album, you will be very pleased, I was.  He’s definitely back. And samples Ozzy, a very pleasant surprise 🙂

Check those out if you’ve ever liked any of their music and have a kick ass Monday.

Peace.

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Almost Was Enough

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I’ve put up a new theme, it’s more personal I feel, feels more like home. I hope you like it. 😀 Our topic today is regarding recent events that have caused me to consider my life and how I’m living it.

As far as my writing here, I’m taking a turn toward the the more personal, inner thoughts of mine. It’s been a period of time since I’ve written here regularly, I’ve missed you and I feel that I’m on a new journey, a self imposed journey to being a better person.

I’ve been guilty of secluding myself into my own world and ignoring what was going on around me, only to my own detriment. I buried my head so far into my own world that I nearly cost myself an uphill battle with Cancer. Yes, cancer. I was lucky and the problem area was removed and then diagnosed – and really we’re not sure it won’t return…it’s a waiting game I suppose, I still feel lucky though.

I didn’t have health insurance so I let my health take a backseat to my life, and nearly paid dearly for it. Don’t let yourself fall into a situation where you’re kicking yourself, or worse. It’s made me re-evaluate my situation, my life, my past, what I want out of my future and what I expect of other people.

I’ve always considered myself pretty strong and self reliant, but I realize I’ve been somewhat complacent and tolerant of things I shouldn’t have been. In short, the last year has been a strange period of tragedies, reflection and depression for me. I called it a funk but I know what it was. I’ve made a few decisions that have helped me to regain what I was missing and it will only improve from here.

I’m back in more ways than I thought.

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Never Failed

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There have been few constants in my life, most of the people I’ve come to know in my life, I have since lost contact with, by choice or by time.  Aside from my sisters, one of those people is my Grandmother.  She has been the matriarch of the family and led us all quietly and often without us realizing it.  We’ve all taken her for granted more often than we should have.

Recent complications with her health have forced us all to face the harsh reality that we will lose her, and this is a moment we have all dreaded.  I’m sure that you can relate, most of you have experienced the loss of a family member.  It seems particularly difficult for me, I’ve looked to my grandmother for guidance in many ways even she didn’t know.  She has served as my mentor with her wisdom and gift for explaining her views or opinions with clarity.  She’s always been an inspiration to me.

A few of us in the family were together last night when the seriousness of the situation was presented, and we are mostly scared.  The last year has not been fair, I lost my other grandmother last year and my only grandfather in July. Spent most of my sons birthday at a funeral.  I’m ready for a little less mortality in my face.

It is possible we could still have a long time with her, that’s certainly what I hope for.  I know this post is depressing, for that I apologize.  I’ll save the “…appreciate your family….” for another time.

Thanks for reading.  Live today.

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