Hanging On

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Haunted by your ghost
as I walk these empty rooms
I see your face in my minds eye as sadness washes over me
I can’t bring myself to speak of you in past tense
Even as that last image of you hangs in suspense
In my mind

You were a life force
I couldn’t see
Only felt, and only a part
And as it faded
So too went my heart
Further down in my chest
Behind those walls is a mess

Buried so far even I
Can’t feel a thing
There will be a time
When I find peace
and the will, to
Shine a light on my soul
Until then, I still miss you.

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Hey there…how YOU doin?

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I usually write to you from my phone and it’s an exercise in frustration because my swype is a mean ass. Not to mention it’s mostly been poetry lately. It’s a purely egotistical thing, this blog. Is it self centered? Like I wrote about a few days ago…someone who’s so self centered to think I care anymore about him… I think it is.. MouthyGirl is my self centered paradise.

It’s where I’m accepted, loved and even enjoyed. It’s not real life, real life is drab, boring and only sometimes painted with color..but the color is muted and parades in front then fades away quickly. This is seeming like a dark post..it’s not really. Just a stream of consciousness thing..I’m so deliciously random, you know.. you love this shit.

Yeah I hear you…that was cocky.

My life in the last year has been a roller coaster…but the kind that’s low to the ground…because, well I’m short and not a fan of heights so…it’s like the baby roller coasters where you get the sensation of flying for like 2 seconds and you think you’re gonna lose your shit. Not really. It’s been wild. It occurred to me a few days ago that as old as I am…groan…crack…this is a great time for me. I’m still relatively young, lots of life ahead of me and pretty untangled. I lead a drama free life, which is so so so so so nice, finally. So being single and with lots of time on my hands…I have made lots of plans and fully expect to experience at least 65% of them. I know you’d like to know what they are…but then you won’t read what I write about cuz you’ll already know what I’m up to…ha!

And I’m dating…which is pretty cool…sometimes. It has its moments. A few nights ago, the kiddo waited up for me…it was cute. So single ladies… raise your hands..married ladies…shake your fist 😉 I wanna get a headcount. Why? So my jokes have punch in the delivery.. more single ladies…more single jokes…more married… ah you see what I’m saying.

Anyways. I’ve enjoyed our chat, coffee time with you guys is always nice. Now make like a good reader now and talk back. Tell me I’m full of shit, I’m the drama queen or that you hate my poetry. SAY ANYTHING!

And I will part with visions of John Cusack holding a boombox…

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Top 5 Dating Don’ts

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Bad boy, bad boy.  You can’t do that if you’re dating.

Talking/texting a new person is exciting, you have an opportunity to express interest in them, learn about them..ask them out.  I consider myself hard to offend, understanding…quite patient actually.  However, there are some things boys…you just don’t do.  I’ve compiled a list of those that are most important to know…its not at all scientific, or based on surveys, no.  This is me, you..cocktails and truth.  Okay, coffee but you know what I’m saying.  Are you ready for this?

1. Don’t ask what she’s wearing.  The only time this is an appropriate question is for date identification when you meet if you haven’t already…but you should have seen a photo by this point.

2. Two word answers are boring.  “that’s cool”  “I’m good”  “what’s up”

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

3. If you ask a question..and don’t get a quick answer, don’t send “?”.  I mean, the other person might have had to pee..make a sandwich..is working…peacefully sleeping..
Don’t do that crap.

4.  This one is the reason I write this on an early Saturday morning..curled up, nearly in the fetal position.  The horror.

NEVER send unsolicited pictures you wouldn’t want your mom to see. NEVER!  I woke up this morning, and as we do, checked my phone for messages..got a few texts so I looked at those..got to one and OMG it’s a cock!  I laughed a little.  Nervous laughter..and that, oh that’s unfortunate laugh..  

Don’t do that shit.

I consider myself pretty unflappable..and this didn’t offend me as much as make me feel sorry for him.  How desperate.  Moving right along…

5. Don’t make a date and cancel more than once or worse, not let the other person know you can’t make it.  There’s nothing worse than being stood up.  It’s inconsiderate, and karma will bite you right in the ass.  I promise.  That trip on the sidewalk last week..that wasn’t just any trip. 

Those will get you started…pay attention boys and girls..I think we’re on to something here….

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Smirk

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Text me when you think of me
Thinking of things that used to be
I laugh at you, and
Your mediocrity

I don’t care how you are
I make jokes about you
But like you do
You think I do
This world you thought revolved around you

It’s been mine for the taking
Spent too much time waiting
For you to learn..anything
All that was for nothing

In the end it taught me
You were always the wrong one.

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