On the road again

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Back for more? 😉 Let’s get right to it:

So I tell a disappointed teenager that we’re going home and after the expected anger, we began to pack and prepare. Then i got a call that my grandmothers’ condition had gone from bad to worse. While I wanted to step up our return, because it was scheduled for two weeks out, financially, I needed to wait two more weeks but I could afford to go down for a while myself, and try to find a place while I was at it. So I get up before the sun a few mornings later and drive back to Texas straight through. It wasn’t too bad, and the teenager wasn’t there to argue about what color the sky was. Made it back and went to see Grandma the next day, broken hearted. I will never forget seeing her in the hospital that day, I thought I would fall into the floor and never get back up. She looked so tired and weary and couldn’t keep her eyes open. It hurt me so badly to see her that way. I go to see her every day until she asks me not to, and when I’m not there, I’m looking for work and an apartment.

Her condition improves and she sounds strong again and they’re talking about taking her to rehab in preparation to go back home. I stayed here for about two weeks all told and got ready to head back to get the kid and our stuff when I’m sure I can afford the three days, I was terrified I would be too far away when and if something terrible happened. I drive straight through again and we load another trailer and head back, leaving the cat for now, but we will return for him. We drive all day until we get back to Dallas and start getting ready for the kid to return to school, and I go see Grandma every day. My aunt was staying down here at the time, wanting to be here for grandma and take care of her as much as possible. We celebrate Grandma’s birthday with her in the hospital and love that she’s in a great mood and looking forward to going home.

My cousin, her daughter, had a baby however and my Aunt desperately wanted to meet baby Abby, so she prepares to go home for a few days to Kansas. The day my Aunt arrives home, my grandmothers condition begins to worsen and I don’t have to tell you, but I believe I had an irregular heartbeat. Someone, I don’t recall who, calls my Aunt and she heads home early the next morning, despite my grandmothers’ argument for her to stay home. My Aunt gets back, which for me was a relief because she had taken on the position of my rock. I knew I would get straight answers from her and she knew she would from me, we have some family that will over-blow a situation and when in matters of health like this, that kind of over-exaggeration can be devastating. I couldn’t eat hardly, and what’s worse, at times she was incoherent and then the worst thing that I ever imagined could happen, she wanted to go home on hospice care, no longer interested in rehab, wanting to work at getting better, she had realized that the cpap machine was keeping her alive. I lost my shit that day. I cry now remembering that moment.

A little too much for me right now. More tomorrow. Share your comments!

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