The Bridge to Peace

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I follow a Freelance Writing page on Facebook and occasionally they’ll post a writing prompt, to get those lovely creative juices flowing. The image from today is of a bridge in a beautiful snowy meadow. Here is my result:

I imagine myself on the porch of my Tiny Cabin, that I have lovingly dubbed “The Fox Den”, this is my retreat in Colorado, where I come to feel one with the earth and all the energy that surrounds us without the noise of talking, cell phones, chirping vehicles, animals, people. There is nothing here. And there is no one.

I breathe in the icy air and smile at the steam I create as I exhale, the tuft of hot air smelling of hot chocolate and fading within seconds. My nose is red and my fingertips freezing even as they hold onto my boiling hot mug. “I am going to write today” I think. “It may be nothing, it might take weeks to finish, but today is the day for Page One.”

With that I tug on my snow boots and trudge down the slope to the frozen over creek and step out onto the bridge. I know that it will only afford me a few steps, but I will take them as this bridge creaks and shudders..I am no daredevil but the thought of landing on ice or falling through the ice to stand in a foot of icy water is not one that I want to experience! But the thrill of tempting fate is hard to resist for someone as impulsive as me, so to speak. So I take my three steps, repeating a trail I have walked every morning since my arrival.

I stand there and marvel at my success again, smiling at the trees before me and all around, staring up at my tiny cabin and loving her simplicity and rich colors against the backdrop of the snow, trees and mountains. I finally did it. This cabin, this acre, this creek on this acre. All mine, alone.

This is peace.


Your Turn Ladies; Get Right or Get Out

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In my most recent post I called out a particular behavior I’ve seen in men that has been disturbing me for some time (and I believe I’ve written about it before), but in this edition of MouthyGirl, I’m going to talk about the shit chicks do that annoy me, because this shit makes all women look bad.

I’ve dated a few guys that have had relationships before that when they speak about things in that previous relationship – I am just shocked at how crappy some women are to someone they loved or at least cared for at one time or another. Sometimes I am certain that some women have that mindset that they can do whatever the hell they want and their man is supposed to just put up with all kinds of craziness. I’m here to tell you – you’re doing damage to the good men out there. Cut it the fuck out, be nice, it’s not really that hard. You get so much more out of it, appreciation, adulation and loyalty.

Expecting him to be the giver. Guys like to be needed, but they have needs too, as do ALL humans. If you ignore his needs, he will eventually withdraw – even if he sticks around still – he’s not the same guy if he doesn’t have his needs met..and eventually he’ll stop caring about yours.

Not letting him be the man. Don’t make all his decisions, or try. Don’t tell him what to wear, eat, drink or how to behave. You picked him – did you pick him to fix him? Get a dog – that’s what you train, treat the man like a man.

Playing verbal or mind games. Say what you mean ladies, he cannot read your mind and if he could, your ass would be in trouble. You don’t have to be a bitch to get what you want, if you want something – ask for it! The worst he can tell you is no, or some variation of that. You’ll live to fight another day – I promise.

Don’t “act” like you care, really care about his day, his health, his feelings. They have the feels too, and a lot of men are taught to stuff them or hide them and that’s just a recipe for disaster and an unhappy man. Ask him how his day is, if he complains about an ailment, offer to help him or at least show some sympathy. If you can’t muster some give a shit for him, chances are you should end it.

If I ask a man how his day is, and he’s surprised to have that question – all the bitches before me are just that, bitches. You don’t have to be a bitch to get what you want in life, or in a man. One of your most important lessons ladies, is that there is a time and a place for EVERYTHING. Save the bitch for situations that really call for it, like someone messing with your kids or your family. But if you want to be loved, you have to give love.

I don’t know if it’s because we have boobs or because some of us are watching too much E! or Lifetime, but drama, fighting, crying to get what you want, expecting unreasonable things..some women are insufferable!

A couple tips: If you have nothing nice to say, shut the hell up. If you can’t be genuinely appreciative of your guy, you likely need to end it. Jealousy is not part of a relationship, it’s part of a disfunctional relationship. If you can’t trust a guy – you need to look inside at why you have such issues and figure that shit out – get right girl. Insecurity is your problem to solve, not his.

As always, feel free to share your comments, anything you’d like to add to this list – or if you disagree…I love your feedback. So give it! 😉

P.P.S.: And ladies, for fucks sake, STOP BRAGGING ABOUT BEING CRAZY! IT’S NOT CUTE!


Talkin Bout My Generation

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What is with you men?? I understand, believe me, that sex is on the brain 100% of the time. But do you have to be so damned obvious and vocal about it? Trust, it is on my mind too. A lot! But I can communicate with someone I’m interested in without talking about it constantly or giving that look like all I want to do is make out, while I learn about them and decide if time in the sack is something I’d like to share with them.

I realize this may not be true for every female that is dating while simultaneously in her mid 30’s. Some of us are just out to get laid, I sure as hell was for a couple three years. But I’m over it, and I want something a little more serious, like that thing they call a relationship – and a situation that’s a bit less flighty. So can you just understand if I quit talking to you that it’s because I think you have no regard or respect for me as a person?

Oh, I know you respect my boobs. Great, you want me. I am more than this body. I am more than these boobs. I am more than this smile and these lips. I have a brain that functions quite well, I have the ability to crack jokes…and be fun, and call you on your bullshit or teach you something you don’t know. I am actually interesting! There is so much in this vertical world to see and experience!

I love horizontal olympics too – but I want to be treated like I matter – like you value my thoughts because I have life experience that could potentially be useful to you someday, not just my sex. Here’s a news flash that you don’t want guys, there are enough toys on this planet that those of us who are over the child bearing part of our lives can virtually replace you with! I can buy my own drinks, I can pay my own bills and I can give myself my own orgasm. BOOM. So what the fuck do you have to bring to the table now? Try your actual brain. I like that shit.




First Dates

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In my life I’ve had these extreme moments of clarity, and they all sit in my memory like bright spots on a film when you look at them in a slideshow. They are surprising, enlightening and shocking sometimes all at once. I’ve been holding on to some self inflicted hurt for several months now – we’ll call it a delayed reaction to a recent event. This morning however, in my excitement over a first date this evening, I had one of these moments of clarity.

It was like the sun shone into my brain and reminded me that my instincts are good. Sure, sometimes I jump the gun when I have an inkling of insight. Which is what I believe this event was. I’d had an inkling that the relationship would not ultimately work out. The reasons are unimportant. But I’d had that little epiphany and when prompted, pulled the trigger that pulled the plug.

We are complicated creatures folks, regardless what we think of ourselves, we are indeed complicated. The makeup of human emotions has befuddled scientists and clinicians for 100’s of years and for us to be silly enough to think we have ourselves figured out – well…I’m guilty of it.

But back to the point. In my moment of clarity I remembered that I had known in my gut that relationship wasn’t going to last, and the whys. I have been stewing over that decision for better than a month, and it was too late anyways. However, I shared my thoughts and essentially got it off my chest. From the moment I told him, I felt better. There’s something to be said for unfinished business being finished. Closure is a real thing.

So now I have a first date this evening that I’m looking forward to more than I have any first date in a long time. I feel like my mind is in the right place, he’s interesting and has held my interest for several days. That takes a lot. Wish me luck!