No Doormat Here

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“Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. I am kind to everyone but when someone is unkind to me, weak is not what you are going to remember about me.” – Al Capone

Think about that statement for a minute. I have the same attitude, though I may not outright say this to people, I’m fairly sure it doesn’t take much for this impression to be made. What happens when someone challenges you in a way that makes you angry, or causes you some injustice that makes you want vengeance in some way?

How do you normally react? As humans we often blame others for our feelings-almost as a default reaction, and think nothing of it. But is that a justified reaction? Is that the most mature way to handle a situation? For me, this is when I become methodical. If I need to eliminate someone from my life, then it is done. If I need to prove my point so that the relationship remains equal, then I do so in a caring way. But if someone has caused me an injustice that must be corrected – I make a plan and I execute it. Every situation is different so without citing examples, I assure you, people know when they’ve done something to me they shouldn’t have.

I’m not so indebted to anyone that I can’t walk away. I don’t owe anyone anything in my opinion – just as no one owes me anything. I don’t feel as if I must maintain relationships to people out of obligation. It’s a very free way to live. I’m very happy with my life this way and wouldn’t change it. It does give people the impression that I’m stuck up sometimes, and I understand that. However, the people who know me, completely understand, and they’re the ones that matter anyways.

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3 thoughts on “No Doormat Here

  1. It depends who it is.
    If it’s a person, and I CAN get rid of them, then rid of them I get.

    I have no patience for betrayal whatsoever, or lies, unless you’re a known pathological liar. Most people won’t be friends with known liars (or at least SAY they won’t, but do anyway, trying to ignore what they are), but the way I see it, if I can be friends with people who have different values than my own (which I am), then I can be friends with a pathological liar. I can trust them…to lie. It’s the people who say “I never lie to a friend” and then lie to a friend that I have a problem with.

    Anyway, I’ll vent to my friends, though carefully now, assuming every word I say will get back to the offender soon…because I trust NO ONE WHATSOEVER and feel that I have a perfect right to feel that way. (In fact, I’ve been known to vent certain things to certain individuals to figure out who the snitch is–none untrue, just different for each person). I’ll accept and consider my friends’ advice, but it’s usually more aggressive than I actually end up handling it. I look at what I know I’m capable of vs what I WANT to do, and frequently there’s nothing I can do that would alter or fix the situation. Then I ask myself–what would I want my kids to do? Is there any action I can take and maintain my dignity and honor? Is this something I want handled thoroughly and long-term? Chances are, though, in the end the only action I’ll take is to remove that person from my life completely and probably watch them from afar for a while. Karma’s a bitch, and it never fails that my life improves exponentially after I get rid of a toxic person and their life becomes hell on earth for a while. I don’t know if it’s God or not; all I know is revenge occurs without me having to do anything.

    With family or anyone I can’t / won’t walk away from, it’s pretty much no holds barred. I’m going to make sure those people know exactly how I feel and that if they don’t want to hear it, THEY need to walk away from ME. And by extension they’re walking away from my kids, which usually shuts them up pretty effectively. Or I get to have raucous entertainment while I cut them down using only their own actions as evidence. I don’t get to do it often, and I know it’s mean, but man…it feels so GOOD to finally let it all out on someone who deserves it. Those are the times I end up regretting, especially if the kids were there…but by the time someone gets me to that point I lose all sense of when / where I am and what situation I’m in. At that point I don’t give a rat’s ass if we’re in the middle of church surrounded by God-people, my last straw is EXPLOSIVE.

    That’s a pretty good reason to block the bad people completely from my life, LOL. There are a few who, if I saw them today, I might end the day in jail wondering what on earth I did while I was blacked out with rage…

    • Sweet Cheesus I’m long winded! Sorry about that. Didn’t realize how long it was until it was too late. (The comment box doesn’t show much.)

    • I think the only person in my life that I could truly never walk away from is my son. I love all of my family immensely, but having been down the road before that existed where family is the one who treats you the worst, I know that I am able to wash my hands of people designed to be incredibly close to my life. It’s not easy, and it’s also not the right way for everyone because as individuals we deal with our problems on an individual and personal level. But facing them is the most important thing, knowing that there’s a time and a place and that some battles should just be forfeited due to lack of interest.

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