Not Afraid

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I take my health for granted. I expect my body to do things for me regardless of how I treat it, and I have always been that way. I have recognized limitations and acquiesced to them, and for far too long. Two months ago, I decided randomly that I wasn’t going to do it anymore….and honestly I don’t even remember the impetus anymore. Making a decision is not hard for me, I’ve been doing that for as long as I can remember. I have acted as if I wasn’t lazy and that’s a damn lie.


I have been lazy for three years. The last two I was in an emotional funk, feeling a hole in myself that I couldn’t fill. Sure I had some small gains in perspective, epiphanies, etc. When you consider yourself a person who is self aware, these things happen frequently. So frequently that you begin to take those too, for granted.

It takes something drastic. Something scary. Something mortal. My body started sending me signals. Feeling discomfort, never being comfortable and I cannot believe now that I have tolerated this for so long! SO FUCKING LONG! I am disgusted with my past, horrified by my history, but not so much that I will dwell.

No, I will move forward, I have seen the light! So to speak. The light is my strength. The light is my past. The things that I have come through in this life it makes no sense for me to back down now. “Really?!!”, I said to myself, “Really bitch?! This is what we’ve come to? Fat, cranky, irregular sex life and couple that with no motivation…really MouthyGirl? This is the best we can do?”

..and I thought about it.

…and I thought about it some more.



Lift Like a Girl

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Well hi! It’s been a couple weeks – and my how things change!

I’m kidding, there’ve been no big changes except my attitude and tenacity πŸ™‚ Several weeks ago, I started lifting and giving some serious time to weight and resistance training. Within a few short weeks, I started noticing my arms were feeling stronger, and then I saw it.

The bulge when I flexed my arm. I WAS SO EXCITED I STILL GET EXCITED ABOUT THAT MOMENT! I like having muscles! I like feeling strong and knowing that I’m tossing out traditional advice and lifting weights because I know that it will work. It will work to make me stronger, leaner, maybe even a little meaner – because when you can back up your trash talk..well…you do it more. I’ve felt a resurgence in my confidence and (not needing it) my bravado. I even have progress photos to share with you. The changes aren’t glaring and astounding and obvious, but it was enough to make me go from interested in seeing where it takes me, to convinced that this is the ticket! I’ve been doing research for a while, and it comes down to this. More muscle, burns more fat. When you lose weight with cardio, dieting and other methods that don’t include weight training, you lose muscle mass.

I used to carry my son around on one hip or another until he was about 7, started working in an office and you know what that’ll do to a woman’s physique. Especially if she’s more concerned with everything else in the world besides her own health. Fast forward a couple years, and you have a weak 35 year old almost empty nester with terrible posture, horrible eating habits and an ever expanding ass.

Enter weights. Biceps, and a very girly squeal of excitement.
This bitch is addicted. I’ve been doing a squat challenge, lifting weights, eating clean-er. Can’t say I’m 100% there, but if I were to look back at my diet a year ago to the last few weeks – fuck it I’M PROUD! I’m lifting like a girl now, but bet I’ll be lifting more than some men within a year! πŸ˜€

I’m gonna be a beautiful badass like Nia Shanks!
Nia Shanks, my idol

What have you done for yourself lately?




Don’t Call Me Crazy

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You want to know a real fast way to piss me off? Not only that, I’ll likely stop talking to you and if you were a dating prospect – you just excluded yourself. There’s this stereotype about women, that we’re all crazy. Curious: Does that mean that the stereotype that all men are stupid dogs is true? I didn’t think so. Tell you what will happen though, even if intended as a joke, I’ll get as close to hating a person as possible, only I won’t care enough to keep thinking about it. There’s this meme that’s often circulated by the male persuasion, for instance:

Complete Bullshit. I’ve met a lot of very attractive women – and guess what? Not crazy. Here’s what probably happens that causes a guy to call a girl crazy. She has standards. She wants you to have your own place, car, and keep both relatively clean. Oh and stop talking to your cat when you’re on the phone.

If you:

a. Live with your mom;
b. Live with your ex;
c. Can’t bring her to your home for really vague reasons;
d. ..are crazy yourself;
e. Have a felonious past;
f. Can be found on a list of registered people;
g. Wear so much camo you CAN’T be found;
h. Have a litter of children.

..then trust that she’s not crazy. She just doesn’t want you. What really perturbs me the most, is other females perpetuating this nonsense.
shes crazy

DO NOT DISMISS MY EMOTIONS (ANGER, FRUSTRATION) AS CRAZY. Doing so just proves you are an asshole who doesn’t know how to use his words or handle a human with complicated feelings and emotions. GROW THE FUCK UP! This is what that kind of bullshit makes me think:

this is the truth

Also, if you know a girl that is doing what would be considered crazy by most people’s standards…I’ve got a few choice words for you:

dont call me crazy

I feel better. Ah. πŸ˜‰