Roots; Where it begins..

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There are few constants in my life, music is one of those constants. Without it, I cannot imagine my life being anything other than drab, boring and far too quiet. I grew up listening to old classic country with my grandmother, current and contemporary 80’s and 90’s country from my mom and rock, blues and classic rock from my Dad. As I went to high school I broadened my musical tastes to include pop, rap, metal, hair metal, grunge, a lot of that popular 90’s music. Around the time that Toby Keith cut a song about smoking weed with Willie Nelson and my relationship with my ex boyfriend starting hitting speedbumps I left country music behind. Occasionally listening to Gary Allen, Shania or Garth, my staples in country music.

Fast forward to we’ll say about 7 to 9 years later and I am coming back to the country music roots I have, knowing now what type of country I prefer helps, because I know certain artists do only the type that will send me screaming from the banjos. I love a story, maybe it’s because I’m a reader, maybe it’s because the men in my family have all been story tellers, but that’s the type of country I prefer…storyteller music.

Honestly, there is an exception to EVERY rule. There is only one rule I can think of that bears no room for exceptions. But yes, by and large, if the song tells a story, I’m pretty much in…and lately it’s love songs. I know how ridiculous it is…trust me! Not swaying me though, I love it, Rascal Flatts, Luke Bryan, old Alabama, Jason Aldean..you name it. Brantley Gilbert was a welcome surprise. Just as I quit listening I think he had put out a song but I never paid any heed, I entertained punk, ska and metal for several years almost exclusively. Bottoms up is easily one of my top 5 favorite songs/videos – yeah it IS because he’s super hot.

See me not giving a single fuck what you think about that? Google him, you’ll see πŸ™‚ So yeah, country love songs all up in my car, at the house, playlist at work. The one that I love the most right now is older, and I believe off the first or second Rascal Flatts album. The Day Before You. I’ll link it below. If I’m in the middle of heartbreak next year this time – just take pity on me, remind me that it was good while it lasted πŸ™‚

Or you can play this next song for me lol.

It’s weird how events in our lives can return us to a different place, or bring us to a familiar place with new feelings. I’ve never felt so intensely about anyone, and that makes all of this music sound so different to me now than it ever did before. I’m making my peace, slowly but surely with the past as it resides in my memory. It helps that my ex just texted me last week, seemingly looking to start something up. I shut that shit right down – I am not even a little bit interested in returning to the land of confusion. Let me just also add, when I left, it was because all my efforts to make it work had been exhausted…and I’ll be honest, I had been kinda mean in the end of it all, why he would want to reach back out to me is beyond me.

It made me a little smug, admittedly. But like I’ve told you all before, I’m an asshole, and assholes get smug when a jerkface attempts to crawl back to what he so gleefully abandoned previously. So, with a country song, and me teaching myself two stepping – I’m back to some of those old roots…this is where it begins.

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How Far?

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What a week this has been! We’ve had ice, snow and sleet..in nearly March. So stupid!  Add to that, today is my mom’s birthday.  This day always puts me in a funky place, my upbringing was difficult and I don’t have many good memories. The good memories I do have were with my sisters or my grandmother.

So I’ve been especially emotional…This has been an absolute disaster! MouthyGirl doesn’t get emotional! She is my facade, my cloak of invisibility when I want to hide…and maybe this is where I should’ve been, instead of at the bar drinking my feelings.  I also think I saw my mom at the post office yesterday..which shot my avoidance of this day right out of the cannon.

But I was gracious y’all! Be proud of me, I sent her a happy birthday text yesterday evening and ended up agreeing to have drinks with her on Tuesday. This should be an exercise in walking down memory lane.  I know better than this, my mother is horribly self involved and there is no conversation with her that doesn’t circle back to her in some way. I don’t know how she does that…But it happens Every. Single. Time.

Now I have that to look forward to. I’ve been on a roller coaster all week..falling in love is hard on a person. Maybe not for everyone but if there’s any adversity..that’s a hell of a kink in the line. I’ve said it before and I’ll tell you again, I am impulsive, and patience is not in my wheelhouse. Being forced to wait, be patient, and have faith in this..is almost more than I can take.

But the challenge keeps me on my toes. I have wanted to back away from this a dozen times in the last few weeks, I am terrified. I have been destroyed over love…Do I want to risk it again?

How far would you go for love, not infatuation/lust…you know when it’s love..How far would you go for that?

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Art

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I am not an artistic person unless we’re calling writing an art..and even that I’m a little skeptical about. However, as a means to encourage nail growth and take up something to keep me busy, several years ago I started painting my nails regularly and challenging myself with nail art. Shut up, I know how girly this is, I don’t give a fuck. I’ve done some amazing nail art, even by my own standards…and given this little hobby hours upon hours of my time, but now, I’ve got it down for the most part – and I do a pretty badass job on them regularly.

We won’t talk about how ragged they look when I get sick though…sheesh. Friends want me to do theirs, I oblige within reason – honestly I do this for me, not for recognition – though now that I’ve decided to write about it – I should probably hush about the recognition bit huh? Anyways, I did one Sunday while I vegged that I am quite proud of…take a look πŸ™‚

I love it!

I love it!

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