What a week this has been! We’ve had ice, snow and sleet..in nearly March. So stupid! Add to that, today is my mom’s birthday. This day always puts me in a funky place, my upbringing was difficult and I don’t have many good memories. The good memories I do have were with my sisters or my grandmother.
So I’ve been especially emotional…This has been an absolute disaster! MouthyGirl doesn’t get emotional! She is my facade, my cloak of invisibility when I want to hide…and maybe this is where I should’ve been, instead of at the bar drinking my feelings. I also think I saw my mom at the post office yesterday..which shot my avoidance of this day right out of the cannon.
But I was gracious y’all! Be proud of me, I sent her a happy birthday text yesterday evening and ended up agreeing to have drinks with her on Tuesday. This should be an exercise in walking down memory lane. I know better than this, my mother is horribly self involved and there is no conversation with her that doesn’t circle back to her in some way. I don’t know how she does that…But it happens Every. Single. Time.
Now I have that to look forward to. I’ve been on a roller coaster all week..falling in love is hard on a person. Maybe not for everyone but if there’s any adversity..that’s a hell of a kink in the line. I’ve said it before and I’ll tell you again, I am impulsive, and patience is not in my wheelhouse. Being forced to wait, be patient, and have faith in this..is almost more than I can take.
But the challenge keeps me on my toes. I have wanted to back away from this a dozen times in the last few weeks, I am terrified. I have been destroyed over love…Do I want to risk it again?
How far would you go for love, not infatuation/lust…you know when it’s love..How far would you go for that?