It was a three month romance and there near the end, I became discontent with him, as his views were archaic and misogynistic. I couldn’t get past it and knew that I would end it soon. Rather than have that opportunity to deal with things as an adult, he disappeared from my life, as quickly as he came into it.
He left things that I gave away, all but one thing. That one thing I had buried in my closet for months, when it was still fresh. But I’ve realized now, it was the idea of what we could’ve been that made me an emotional basket case. I was no joke, a zombie for a week after I acknowledged that he wasn’t going to reappear. ME! I’m stronger than that, smarter than that, and it still knocked me right on my derriere. Fortunately there’s plenty of cushion to make my fall a little less painful.
A few days ago, I dug that one thing out of the closet. Now it is part of my every day, and I’m ok with that. It doesn’t upset me to see it, or send me into reminiscent tear-land. But I’m also realizing that I have to struggle to remember what I was so discontent about with him, I’ve already idealized his memory in my mind. The mind is a terrible thing to waste of course, but it’s also a terrible thing if gone unchecked.
I still miss him, the way he would speak to me, and sing to me. The way that he looked at me, no one has ever done that before him, nor since. But that little season he was in my life, taught me A LOT. The moral of the story is that our brain is subject to playing tricks on us, it’ll discard sad/bad things and keep only the good and then we wonder what happened, we reminisce and eventually miss that person, forgetting all about what may have happened before – this! Ladies and gents, is how we can so willingly turn our bodies around and go in reverse, back to someone/something. We simply forget the bad things.
Remind yourself of the bad things, don’t let your brain get away with making you suffer unnecessarily. Remind yourself what he/she did to piss you off, what was the most irritating thing about them? Remember these things and know peace from that sadness that creeps up when you miss someone. And DON’T YOU DARE SAY “I’d like to have that one back.” Life is NOT lived in reverse people.
Onward and upward we go!