Holy shit it’s almost Xmas! Gah.
Anyway…you know the old expression, “digging up bones”? Well, what do you do when it’s people in your past digging up bones and it’s you that they dig up? This has happened twice in the last few weeks, two different people from my past coming back into my life.
Let me be brutally honest, I’m thoroughly enjoying it. I am more audacious than I have ever been in my life and I’ve recently, as you know, stopped caring about being pleasing. So all the things I wouldn’t say to them back when, I’ve got nothing to lose now, so I’m saying whatever the fuck I feel like saying to them. NO. HOLDS. BARRED.
You cannot know how good it feels. There is no better reinforcement to that idea than the reception that you get from it being overwhelmingly positive. As it would turn out, when I’m all the way me, no limits, no barring anything from passing my lips – I’m even MORE entertaining. Not on purpose mind you, but I’m funny and these two people that were digging up bones are finding that I’ve changed.
One of them, who thinks he has a leg to stand on when he says this, has told me now twice recently, “It’s been some time sure, but I still know you.” To which I just laugh and laugh. I look a lot the same, with some added decoration on my arms and legs, and my smile is the same, but the girl behind the smile has changed by leaps and bounds. My resolve is strong, my dreams are big, and my patience is low. What I will take off of anyone has become so miniscule, it will take very little for me to lose my last remaining shred of a filter that keeps me from being outright mean.
But make no mistake. I’ll be as mean as I have to be if required to be. Til next time beauties!!