When I was young, and even throughout my twenties, I was not social beyond the minimum and a few very close friends. It took so much energy to know what to do, how to be, who to be, because I wasn’t happy with myself. Once I entered my thirties however, I started to be more at peace with life, myself and other people and that made it substantially easier to be in the presence of others despite my awkwardness. I think because I realized it was my thoughts of it that made it awkward and also that every other person I came into contact with has their own struggles, and quite possibly the same as mine!
That was an epiphany that changed my perspective drastically. I learned how to be around other people and was less dependent on what I did to control my behavior and more dependent on me just being comfortable with myself. I learned to trust myself and my thoughts, and that I was a good person, with input to share that I previously didn’t think would be acceptable. Looking back over all these years now, I feel that I wasted a lot of time, and missed out on a lot of potentially great friendships because I was so caught up in my own head.
The thirties for me have been a very freeing time, I settled into being myself a couple of years ago and through all of my life, that is the best thing I have ever experienced on a personal level. Being comfortable and forgiving of myself is liberating, it means I can make mistakes but it doesn’t change my sense of self or self worth. I finally am ok with admitting that I’m smart, and fun and that makes it much easier to be around people, and also to choose not to be around certain types of people.
Have you reached a moment of clarity in your life that has made it easier for you to co-exist with the rest of the world? Tell us about it!