Crazy how quickly we get used to things going a certain way..and when it changes, our reaction. How expectant, even those of us that consider ourselves self aware, we can become when we face less challenge on our path. I recall many times that I would sit down and think to myself, what else could possibly go wrong, when everything seems to be going wrong.
So I say, alright then. Challenge used to be my norm…then things chilled out long enough that I forgot what that was like.. i.e. got comfortable. Life in the last two years for me has been pretty difficult, by comparison to nearly the entire decade before it..but guess what, after the last year I finally got to a point where I was ready to throw up my hands in complete WTF fashion and ask the universe, WHAT GIVES YO?
Then I remembered how resilient I was in my twenties. Those years were replete with challenge, one thing after another and I kept getting up and fighting. Somehow since then I got a little comfortable and the previous bouncebackability that I had sustained was something I began to expect. Except – I wasn’t putting any work into it, at all.
Now I ask myself what the hell did I expect to happen but a complete collapse before realizing that I had failed MYSELF. And isn’t that just the most disappointing thing ever, to fail yourself? I spend all this time building up other people, telling them what they deserve, what they should have and how proud they should be and what am I doing? Ignoring my own coffers.
So I’m starting to remember what I was built by, not comfort, not relaxing surroundings no – hell no. Constant change, consistent disappointment, it was a time in my life I crafted the phrase (or picked it up, whatever) “Expect the worst, hope for the best, and if we fall in the middle, it’s all good.” So I’m reminding myself of this because this year as well, halfway through and it’s already put me through the ringer. Lots of good things have happened but there have been a lot of WTF moments as well.
So cheers to strength from within, remembering my roots, and reminding myself that I’m tougher than my circumstances will ever be.
#toughbitch #fighter #survivor #countrytough