MouthyGirl.com

We are constantly told how we should look. Always being told (male and female) what we are is not good enough. Well I say enough is enough. I think we should all start taking better care of ourselves, our husbands and our families and letting that world, that inner personal sanctum of life be where we focus all of our energy. Your relationship with your spouse for example…how is it? Have you asked him/her lately?

I’ve gotten out of the habit but for a long time after the hubby and I became more serious I would periodically ask him just out of the blue if we were okay. It opened the conversation up for any criticisms or discussion about anything that he felt we might need to talk about, and it wasn’t during a fight which is undoubtedly the worst time to bring up an issue you have with your significant other.

You have to take care of that relationship, cultivate the strongest relationship that you can, trust him/her and expect them to trust you and don’t do anything to break that trust. Don’t lie, don’t hide things and don’t be an asshole. Most importantly, know what’s important to the other person in this partnership you have. Know what their goals are, dreams and aspirations. It will help you to support them, encourage them, and bring them back on course when they might lose their way. That’s your job after all as their significant other, to be the other half, not necessarily the better half, but do be the other half, not half ass.

Then there’s the most fun part of the relationship. That too needs conversation, cultivation and most importantly, action! You know I’m talking about SEX. Recently I went to a “slumber party” at my sister’s house hosted by her friend, Melody. It was a fun party and brings attention, on a personal and intimate level (without embarrassment) to your sex life. Offering options and new tricks and techniques…it’s important to work your thing, you know what I mean?

Let’s face it people, we all have sex, and if we’re not we’re wishing we were. There’s no reason to be embarrassed about it in my opinion, honestly if you don’t take care of that sex life, it will not take care of itself. If you don’t enjoy sex, find out what that’s all about and do what you can do to ensure it’s enjoyable for you, because it is very important.

Don’t leave your man/woman hanging and only give it up occasionally, after a while they’ll begin to have feelings of self doubt and think you aren’t attracted to them anymore. They may not tell you that, but it’ll happen. You don’t want to be the reason someone else feels unloved and unattractive, especially if that person is your one and only.

If you love someone, love them right. Give it all you have and then more. Don’t expect them to do all the work, and don’t you do all the work either. You have to be the right person, try to be nice, don’t say things you don’t mean and really give it your all. We all have off days, but don’t make your relationship one big off day. Just because you’re past dating and you may have a few children doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have date night. With your partner and one with your kids, they love the idea of “dating” their parents. Especially if they know Mom and Dad still “date” they’re naturally going to want to be part of that.

Love your kids, take lots of pictures of them, make them laugh, tell them you love them and try to remember what it was like to be in their shoes. Remember that they’re just kids and let them be little. Let them be kids. Forgive them when they mess up and show them how to do right. Tell them about sex even if it makes you uncomfortable. Tell them about drugs even if you don’t want to, they need to know what their parents think, or by not talking about it they’ll think it’s okay.

What you don’t address leaves open for your kids to hear from other kids what they think. They want to know what people think, you gotta tell them what’s important to you, because they’ll listen. Talk to them when they’re teenagers about how cute they were when they were little, they like it.

Take care of you and yours. Stop worrying about what the rest of the world might think of you and worry about what your family thinks of you, they’re the ones that matter, your family’s opinion of you is the most important of all.

Don’t let them down. Forget about what goes on outside your front door and realize your priorities again. We get so caught up in the outside world we as a nation have been ignoring our homes, our children, our spouses. Families across this nation have been falling apart for years, kids grow up and get a therapist. It’s time for all the nonsense to stop. We drug our kids instead of hug our kids. Don’t you see what’s wrong with the picture?

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In light of recent discussion, I’ve been thinking over the weekend, more like reflecting on my past relationships. My friendships, the relationship I have with my Mother, etc. I have always felt that having regrets were a sad sad state of affairs and that I never wanted to have any.

In your hardest times in life, you will find out who your friends are, and the saddest thing is most of the time, you walk away from it with less friends and a broken heart. The important thing however is that you walk away from it.

Friends will swear they will be there for you and for some reason or another when the time comes, they are nowhere to be found. Sometimes out of spite we might be inclined to wish we’d never had that friendship, or relationship. But that’s no way to live at all. Regrets haunt you, make you bitter and give you wrinkles.

I think it’s impossible to go through life with no regrets, you will always have some, but ideally they’ll be small regrets. I say this because I believe that even if you’re in a bad relationship, if you can walk away from that having learned something about yourself, having learned anything at all, that’s a benefit that negates regret.

I have had my share of relationships in my life sour, my relationship with my Mom, a marriage that lasted a short short time, thankfully, acquaintances and several friendships that have come and gone through the years. Most of those I’ve learned something from. I think that life is a classroom and it’s our job to make sure we take everything away from it to expand our minds and lives that we can.

I’d like to know if you think so too. Can you tell me something you’ve gained from a relationship that you don’t have anymore, perhaps a memory that you cherish, a knowledge you gained that you never otherwise would have gained, a relationship that was borne of another that is now no longer, even.

We all have struggles and problems but if we learn from experience, including relationship experience, I think we gain the upper hand in life.

I am sure you’ve heard the expression that people come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime. I believe that’s true.

I often talk about my mother here, and our relationship, or lack thereof - by my choosing. While I am estranged from her now, and that makes me, I believe, a happier person, I would not be who I am today had I not come up that way. I am proud of me on most days and though I don’t understand the way my mom did things, I think it’s a vital part of who I am.

I had friends in high school that taught me the value of friendship and a shoulder to lean on, teachers that taught me things that I still enjoy doing, I learned how to write in high school not just from teachers, but from classmates as well, Ruby, who guest posted here, being one of them.

So now it’s your turn. Tell me some of your experiences, something you’ve taken away from a friendship, a relationship of any kind; teacher/student, parent/child, friend to friend, etc. Something you cherish and would never trade.

Here’s the Monday Mojo video for those of you that were waiting for it.

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Today I want to ask you about your friends….or rather, former friends. The ones who decided for some reason or another that they didn’t want to associate with you anymore. If you know why, discuss those lost friendships with me today, I am feeling a little miserable and would like some company.

Don’t get this wrong, I honestly don’t feel this friendship I have lost could continue after what she said, but I am sad over the loss just the same.

So for what reasons have you lost friends? I’ve lost several through the years and most of them were due to time and distance issues, I am not an incredibly social and outgoing person so I have never really had more than just a few close friends. The loss of one is a big loss to me.

I’m probably not the only person in this country who has lost a friend over this election, or others for that matter. This was a HOTT election, we had the first female ever running for the presidential seat as well as the first black man running for the presidential seat. And the man won. I know a lot of people are happy, and a lot of people are NOT so happy. Sadly a few friendships I’m sure have fallen out due to this. I think it’s a travesty to let politics come between friendships, unless of course, you’re a politician, then you have to be kind of picky I suppose. LOL.

But I’d like to hear from you about this, I know I can’t be the only one. I think the part of this that disgusts me the most about all the crap I’ve heard about Barack Obama becoming president is the racist remarks. When are the people of this country, of this fucking world, going to realize that COLOR DOES NOT MATTER!

But I am a patriot of the worst kind, I tend to think it makes a person appear to be, at least to me, of lesser of intelligence to be a racist, a hater.

I believe racism is a product of ignorance.

Ignorance of the fact that every family has it’s derelict, it’s got nothing to do with race. It has to do with family genealogy, a persons’ free will and how they were raised. I could get up on my soapbox about this all day long, but at the end of the day the result is still the same.

Only a few people will ever hear my voice echo the same thought so many millions of people have had before, to include Dr. Martin Luther King. It’s no mistake that Dr. King was placed next to our president elect on T-Shirts leading up to election day. He had a dream, and it’s being realized. What a day November 4th was!

I got emotional during Barack Obama’s speech at the end of the night, I too believe this country needs work, and a lot of it. All of his words hit home to me and to hear my “friend” tell it, he’s “just” a good public speaker. I don’t think so, I think he’s tapped into the minds of the majority of America and I too believe that the preference for the rich people and corporate America needs to be second to those of us in the middle class, those of us on Main Street, those of us opening businesses and creating jobs. I’m ready for change. And very tired of sacrificing for the morbidly rich.

But my decision has one casualty. The person I thought was my best friend. I realize now that she must have been judging me the entire time and has a really good poker face, but I’m still hurt.

Talk to me folks….even if I’ve never heard from you before, I know you’re there, I know you’re reading. Break your silence today and tell me about your experiences with friendship and what has made, or broken, some of yours.

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I was running late today, big surprise huh? LOL. But I’m on lunch now and wanted to share some things that are on my mind. You see, I have the desire to go back to school because I feel I have unfinished business, fortunately I’m at the stage where I can pick up where I left off and change my major if I want to, since I stopped at the sophomore level.

However, I do not know what I want to be or do when I grow up, sure I have an idea of what I like to do, and I know what I’m good at. But I’d like to do something fun, something that won’t make me hate my job after six months. I know that’s a tall order for me, but I want to find my niche in this life because let’s face it, I’m staring down 30 while it’s running full force in my direction. I don’t have much time left before I’m an old lady. I want to spend some of this life happy in my job.

I just took a “Career Analyzer” test at, you guessed it, CareerAnalyzer.net and it tells me I should be a Writer. But that in itself is a diverse field, and can be incredibly competitive and really, I’m not sure I’m that good, but maybe with some formal training I could be. Let me ask you a question about MouthyGirl, if you’ll allow me to:

Do you sit there reading my drivel and think, this is like a train wreck, I want to look away but I.just.can’t? Tell me what you think, honestly, I can take it.

Well anyway, the second recommendation was that I should be a News Analyst, Reporter or Correspondent, which sounds pretty cool if you ask me, I stay interested in current events and really if I didn’t control myself I could watch the news all day, but my blood pressure would be up and I’d be an emotional wreck, so I quickly turn to VH1 after my daily dose, or when the stories start repeating, whichever comes first.

The third recommendation was funny to me because I started college intending to be something like this, the test suggests I become a Social Scientist. Not opposed to that, except well, I stopped with that major because I like to think that I’m not crazy or dysfunctional and I’m almost positive that once I started delving into my own psyche that I’d find things I didn’t want to find and would be too disillusioned to practice my chosen field. I often joke that I don’t want to find out how crazy I or my family is so it’s best I stay ignorant to the whole thing. Funny thing is, I know we’re all crazy so it wouldn’t be news.

The fourth recommendation was for me to take up Psychology. Um, are we beginning to notice a trend? I am. But psychology is a little scary to me because those people is crazy! No I jest, I just am not sure I want to put myself in the line of fire… you’ve heard of those clients, the ones that either fall in love with you and stalk you and can’t have you so they kill you or the ones that think you’re out to get them so they kill you. Not sure I want a piece of that action at all.

Ironically, the field I am in is all the way down to recommendation number 10. Isn’t that funny, it tells me writing is the deal for me. Do you think so? So as much as my brain tells me there’s no money in writing, maybe that’s it. I’ve done that the longest, even when I was a child I was trying to. I wrote about that on “Bring Out Your Bears” when DCR tagged me, I swear I’ll find that binder and photograph it to show you all my little juvenile attempt at a fictional/dream life. Yes DCR I promise, there will be pictures. You’ll all laugh your asses off.

So maybe I have some bad news to break to my boss soon? LOL. I do definitely think it’s time to do some research on those top three recommended fields. But my lunch is almost over and as much as I’d like to write to you all day, I must do that supportive/administrative/clerical crap that I do (read:lackey/gopher) and earn that paycheck.

I hope you’re all having a great day, again I apologize for the late post, but boy is it getting harder everyday to drag myself out of the house to come to this job…

Happy Friday!

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I was reading a blog by FemaleProdigy this morning that was a meme designed to be about the blogger, the instructions were for her to talk about herself. I don’t see any harm in that, we always want to know at least a little bit about someone when we regularly read what they write, right? I know I do.

She received two comments telling her she was self centered and narcissistic. I don’t know her personally so if she is narcissistic then that’s her deal and not mine to judge, but the whole self centered comment set me off a little. I started to wonder, what if all the people in the world weren’t somewhat self centered.

I think we’d have a big problem on our hands. No one would take care of themselves!

It’s not as simple as you either are or are not self centered, do you wear makeup? Do you wear cologne? Do you try to look fashionable? Well Damn! You’re so self centered! Am I the only one that finds this utterly stupid?

It just seems ridiculous to me that being self centered is a bad thing. Sure some people take that kind of thing too far and never see past themselves, but damn, who are you to decide that based on some words you read on the internet? I think it’s very funny that someone would call being self centered a bad thing, making it accusatory instead of a statement. Even that someone would be offended!

Anyone can call me self-centered, I hope in some ways that I am! I grew up thinking of my sister before myself, then my son before myself, and I still do that a lot just because that’s the way I’ve been taught to be, it’s not all about me and no matter what I say or do, it never will be. I realize that, but on that same token, I’d like to think I’m self centered enough to make myself presentable, even attractive at times.

Honestly folks, to be able to write a blog day in and day out and not go crazy I have to be a little self centered believing that someone will read it. I hear the Field of Dreams voice saying, “If you write it, they will come…..and read it.” I have to believe that or I’m going to start looking at MouthyGirl as a waste of my time, and I don’t think this idea is a waste of time. Do you? Why do you read my musings? Entertainment? If so, hell that’s awesome! If I can even for one moment entertain someone else….um where do I sign and I’ll cut in line even!

If that makes me self centered, good! My generation likes to call “judging” type people haters. There are always going to be haters in this world, or people that judge you without knowing what you are about or who you are, that’s why the last line on the What is a MouthyGirl page is, “Don’t hate the player, hate the game.” The reason for that is that a lot of us have to overcome adversity in this world to get where we’re going and because of this, we’re allowed to be kind of proud of where we’ve been, what we’ve learned and where we’re at.

At least I think so. That’s why I’ve dubbed myself MouthyGirl, I have opinions, beliefs, ideas, suggestions and plenty to say about all of that and more and I dare anyone to tell me that I can’t have something to say. My basic position is if you don’t like it, you won’t read it. It really is that simple in my opinion.

I leave you with a video that I think sums up my opinion on this pretty well.

Have a Great Thursday everyone and I’ll see you tomorrow for GirlFriday!

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Did you watch the debate Wednesday night? I did. I felt it was an important way to get the views of the candidates directly, without “interpretation” by the media. I typically vote one way, but in this election, I won’t be voting that way.

I’m hoping that my fellow Americans will also vote in this election, it is imperative that we show the politicians in this country that when we are fed up….WE ARE FED UP! That we WILL STAND UP and make it known that it WILL NOT BE business as usual.

I’m thinking that a declining economy is bullshit. I’m thinking that our nation’s children being the most obese in the world, and the least educated in the world is UNACCEPTABLE! Of course it’s a security risk to our country that we have to seek products and services outside America because we haven’t created them yet.

It is unacceptable that our nations southern borders sit open, while people are standing in lines at the airport being searched, made to take extreme measures to prove that they are not terrorists, all the while our southern borders remain a perpetual floodgate of immigrants into this country.

I won’t pretend to have all the answers to the problems of our nation. There’s no way I could, if I even had one solution it would shock the hell out of me, but I know what’s NOT working. I’m tired of politicians spouting double talk and expecting us not to catch it. I’m tired of lobbyists having their way in Washington, making sure that my voice isn’t heard over theirs.

I’m tired of $3.00 per gallon for gas when only 10 years ago it was $1.00 per gallon. I’m tired of quality education being something only for the wealthiest of people. I’m tired of tax breaks for the poor and the wealthy and NOT ME!

I could talk all day about what I’m tired of in Washington because I voted in the last election, and my expectations WERE NOT MET.

So since Election Day 2008 is coming up and we all want to vote, I included this link so you can find your local voting location.

Also, because I’m curious and you’re reading this, I’ve put together a poll, to see how you feel about voting in general.

So take the poll please, and tell me how you feel about voting there, or in the comments. What I especially would like to know though, is what is the most important issue in this election, to you?

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I was going through my email today, it gets deep fast so I have to constantly sift through it. But to be fair, I have several email addresses forwarded to it, so it’s the culmination of a few. Anyways, I came across one that I wanted to share with you. It’s your link to a free Women’s Health Calendar for 2009.

http://www.womenshealth.gov/pub/2009Calendar/

This is a Women’s Health Calendar that you can send away for and it is free. They only allow ONE per person. It’s a great FREE calendar/journal, full of information about and for women. It talks about topics of interest to us such as health, nutrition, life etc…
I advise all of you to order ASAP. Most women don’t find out about this book until Nov/Dec. and by then they are usually out. So you have an early heads up.

Click on any of the links below or copy and paste into your browser to get this great calendar/journal.
http://www.womenshealth.gov/pub/2009Calendar/
http://www.4woman.gov/pub/2009Calendar/

So now you have a link to get a handy tool.

I wanted to mention again that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and it’s important that everyone understand that the odds are not in our favor. It’s important to start doing regular check ups on your breasts for lumps. Go to your doctor for regular physicals and well woman checkups and men, go get your physicals and wellness checkups yearly as well. It’s important because we won’t live forever and quality of life is what’s important, not quantity.

Here’s a link to loads of information about Breast Cancer on Wikipedia. I learned on the radio this morning about Christina Applegate’s preventive mastectomy last year. While you would think Breast Cancer would only affect women, men are no exception, Montel Williams at 19 years old had the same procedure performed on him.

Me, I would like to think I would be strong and go through whatever I had to in order to rid myself of the disease, but I am almost 100% sure I would be a basket case. It would scare the Hell out of me and that’s only the beginning. I love my hair and my boobs, they’re a prominent part of my appearance and I think I would have a BIG problem with no longer having either. Likewise if my best friend or any of my sisters were to face this.

We’ve already had quite the scare with my youngest sister Sarah. I have never wished to be in someone’s place more than I did when she was being treated for Cervical Cancer. My boss’s wife lost her hair in her ongoing battle with Mesothelioma, you can read more here. They’ve been dealing with this now for almost a year! It was either a few days before or after Halloween that she went to the hospital and I believe only a few days later when I put together the site so that they could chronicle her struggle publicly, for her friends, family and for any one else that might benefit from the posts. That’s four people I know directly that have dealt with Cancer in my lifetime, too many.

So I ask you, what would you do if you found out you had a lump? Have you or anyone you know faced this or any other type of Cancer?

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