MouthyGirl.com

Child Support

Having a child is a commitment unlike any other in life, it is at times the heaviest responsibility and at others…the most delightfully spiritual relationship you’ve ever had. Children are a lot of work and as they say, don’t come with instructions.

My ex’s sister said to me once that I was lucky that he even wanted to be involved with my son. At the time I laughed at her ignorance and to this day it is still the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard another female say. All that aside, us moms are not “lucky” to have to deal with our exes, our children deserve both of their parents – fair, adult parents, unless they’re a disgusting criminal like my ex became.

My lawyer told me once that at a proceeding I couldn’t make it to that my ex had told him that he would never pay more than $400 a month in child support. It wasn’t about my son for him, it was about what was going into my pocket, regardless of the care I took of my son, the money I spent being sure his needs were met and he was fed and we were insured, etc…it is no small feat to carry a household alone.

None of that was even a thought. He asked me once why I even needed it because I was doing fine. LOL! Asking an inane question will get you an inane answer, I said, “I gotta get my whiskey somehow”. Huzzah!

For those of you that pay child support, it’s not about you, it’s about being sure your child can have the things in life that you did not, and a single parent cannot do that most of the time. At best a single parent can provide the needs and a little of the wants on Christmas.

Get over yourselves and take care of your kids.

Tags: caretaker, child support, children, christmas, household, irritated, lawyer, money, proceeding, ridiculous, single parent, spiritual relationship, stupidest thing, whiskey

Just Do It Already!

I can’t stand excuses. I hate it when people blame their shortcomings on anything but themselves. You are responsible for your own future and your own happiness.

If you don’t like where you are in your life, you can change it. Unless of course you’re in prison and in that case, thanks for getting caught.

Its time for grown ups to just grow up already and make their dreams happen, that’s what separates “the men from the boys” so to speak, motivation and how far you’re willing to go to reach your goals.

Showing an unwillingness to change and learn new things and expand your own possibilities shows weakness of character and lack of motivation. Not traits to be proud of or even want to be obvious, unless you’re a comic and then even I’ll make an exception if you’re funny.

What I’m trying to say is that there is nothing stopping you from getting what you want except……you.

You can go through life being told what to do by people who do not have your best interests in mind OR you can make your own decisions, if you want to go back to school – no one is going to walk up to you and hand you a scholarship just because you want it. You go and you research available scholarships and you apply and you go to school. The one constant in all of this, is you.

So the real question to ask yourself if you find that you are not happy in any situation is, “What can I do to change this?” Then…..do it.

Tags: motivation

It’s Not the End of the World

In April of 2009 I quit my job as a legal assistant for a work at home job….and it didn’t work out….my “employer” ended up not having the ability to pay me when his financial backing backed out. I hadn’t been out of work a day in my life since I started working and I didn’t know what to do, where my next rent payment would come from and how on earth I was going to feed the family on one salary when we’d been barely making it on two.

This is not the first time I’ve dealt with a life changing circumstance.

First, I told myself, be positive. I said self, “I have always been employed, it stands to reason that I am a reliable, important employee and someone needs me or I’d have been out of work a little more often.”

It was scary, eye opening and now that I look back without my rose colored glasses – I should’ve known better than to make an emotional decision. At the heart of the whole thing, I hated my job and it wasn’t the job, it was my boss. He had a way of making you feel like the smartest dumbass on the block and he was the only one that could bring the genius out. I had to part ways with that man and I took the first train out. If I had thought it through more, I would have realized that making that jump was a bad idea.

Suddenly, two weeks after my 30th birthday, I realized I didn’t have a paycheck coming and made the first of what I expected to be a few phone calls to borrow money until I got a job, from my family. I was very fortunate that I had someone that I could call, then I touched up my resume, which I’d been doing for a while anyways so there wasn’t much to be done there, and then I started scouring the area for jobs.

I was scared of what would happen, uncertain of our future and not sure how long it would be until I found another job, let’s face it, they’re not in the plentiful supply that some of us have been used to in other times. I found a job though, and it happened quicker than I expected, I have a large skillset to offer as well reliability, accountability and consistency. My resume speaks for me and I can interview pretty well most of the time.

“When your work speaks for itself, don’t interrupt.” -Henry Kaiser 1882 – 1967

It wasn’t the end of the world, as with most trials that we face in life, it was scary but I survived. Hardships in life present themselves for two reasons, you bring it on yourself with a bad decision, or you have an external influence that screws the pooch, the pooch being you.

Ultimately, you have two choices in facing it, play the victim and feel sorry for yourself or formulate a plan and take action to solve the problem. It’s up to you, but know this….a bad situation doesn’t have to be the end of the world.

Tags: end of the world, harship, income, jobless, panic, salary, two income family, unemployed, unpaid, work at home