MouthyGirl.com

No one likes to think about it, much less admit it, out loud or to themselves. That side of us that thinks negatively, judges quickly, makes us paranoid and suspicious, that ugly side of us, that we don’t want anyone to see because we know it’s a frowned upon attitude or thought process.

I have that inside me, the UGLY. The ugly makes me think I am ugly and that makes me care what other people think of me. I don’t like to think other people affect the way I feel about myself, but they do. That same ugly makes me think ugly thoughts about other people, I make assumptions that aren’t right, judgements that I feel guilty for later, and other deeds that are certainly not honorable.

I drink far too much. I find it to be one of the precious few things that calms me. Sometimes I feel lost and don’t know what direction to take, wishing I had a clear talent, something I was good at. I have to try at everything…nothing comes easily really.

But I have the UGLY. The syndrome that makes me feel like I’m being judged and where I too am guilty of the wrong assumption. Do you have days like this? Weeks, even months?

Seems sometimes I can’t shake this negative attitude, then for a while I’m doing well and staying positive and feeling successful…

Oh well, tomorrow is GirlFriday and that always cheers me up!

Popularity: 31% [?]

Life deals us the oddest hands sometimes, it makes it hard for us to figure out if there’s some divine meaning to life, or if we’re all just some crazy experiment gone awry and we’re just waiting for the scientist to self destruct. Working for other people is a hard thing to do, especially when you have your sights set on working for yourself at some point.

I’ve had my share of stressful jobs, I’ve worked retail a lot, in all different scenarios, including door to door sales. I’ve waited tables, worked in a gas station (was robbed), delivered pizza - until it was time to get serious and get a “real” job. I’ve worked my way up the “clerical/office employee” ladder ever since. I’ve had my fair share of nightmare bosses.

Most recently I worked for a Dermatopathologist (the two years before my current job), which was very interesting and at times gross work. I learned a lot about skin, the medical world and how dermatology and plastic surgeon offices worked. Be that as it may, I always thought I was paid nicely and was allowed time off when needed, and if I didn’t use the paid time off I was given, I got it at the end of the year in a check, I even got a Christmas bonus or two. But the honeymoon was over when it was time for me to buy a house.

I discovered that my boss had a hard time seeing beyond her own nose in her private time, which I can’t say I wouldn’t struggle with myself if I were successful. That being said, I think personally that in an office environment of five or six people, the relationship with your employees is somewhat important for daily peace and I think that I would strive to maintain a healthy, friendly relationship with any employees I may ever have. But when I needed paycheck verification for my mortgage broker because we were paid with handwritten checks, my boss made it clear she was NOT going out of her way to get that for me.

I honestly thought I would not be able to get my house. She became my enemy overnight. I felt that anyone who would stand in the way of “the American dream” of home ownership for an employee who gave 120% every day at work, deserved nothing more than the work I put in. Nothing extra to impress the boss beyond what was required of me. It was sad really, I was upset at my boss for not wanting to assist me in this small task but also disappointed that she would allow my opinion of her to fall so low without caring about it.

I thought a lot of her because she was female, a physician and the primary wage earner in her house, despite the fact that her husband was also a physician - and actually saw patients regularly. I looked up to her because I thought she was funny, smart, mouthy(!), was successful and wasn’t a snob. Then she proved me wrong.

Stupid, I know. She was a Doctor, why on earth would she care what I thought of her? Exactly. I learned my lesson. My fate will not again lie in the hands of an employer to such a degree if I can help it.

Okay, let’s fast forward a year and a half. Tomorrow will be my one year anniversary at the law firm I work in. One year ago when I started I worked for the investigative agency, but in January was promoted to legal assistant. Still not sure I like it, but everyone there likes me and I usually like them back. Usually. I have my days though where I could leave there and never come back and it would not hurt my feelings at all. I’ve never had that strong of an emotion at any other place that I work.

But I’ve also never been on a cruise that my boss paid for as a Christmas bonus. He said two things as he told me what he was doing, “I hate giving you money for a Christmas bonus for two reasons - you’ll pay bills with it and won’t have any fun and the government will tax it.”

How nice. There are days that I could absolutely tell him to take this job and shove it because he makes me so mad. I’ve been talked to in ways I’ve never experienced but also been challenged in ways I’ve never experienced. I’ve learned things I’ve always wanted to know and that’s something no one can take away from me. Everything I’ve done before was pretty much by the book, text book boring type stuff. This job and all that it entails is very dramatic - so much so that I really never watch Law & Order or any of those super dramatic shows anymore just for the drama.

Everyone craves a little of it, even South Park has drama. Imagine that, a boss that played nice but didn’t come through for me in the end and a boss that is as hard assed as he wants to be that endows with appreciation in unexpected ways.

What a puzzle this life is.

Popularity: 37% [?]

I got an email today loaded with hilarious pictures that I have no doubt have been distributed across the internet.

But in case you haven’t seen them I wanted to share them with you. Hope you enjoy this edition of Wednesday Fwd. If you like it, I’ll do it again next week

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Have you ever met someone who you were put off by immediately because of they way they acted? Like they were better than their surroundings and thusly, better than you? Ever try to talk to someone who seemed to be in another place while you were trying to hold a conversation with them?

Normally we expect people to be warm and friendly and quick to smile when we engage them in conversation. But what about those times where you smile and start a conversation with someone who doesn’t seem interested, or worse, doesn’t respond at all? Do you give those people another chance after your first impression of them? Do you make sure to tell everyone you thought that person was a jerk or was rude?

Now, imagine having a 50 hour a week job managing three people who are underpaid and don’t want to work, add to that a husband and two children ages 8 and 5, add to that three best friends, a mother and two sisters who call intermittently expecting you to stop, drop and chat for at least an hour. Add to that laundry for four people, dishes for four people every night and dinner to cook for four people.

Then there’s the work you brought home because there would be no other time to do it. Overwhelmed yet? Throw in a car in the shop, so you’re carpooling with hubby, which means you both have to get up earlier and someone’s doing double driving duty to get the kids to daycare in the morning and the birthday party that still needs to be planned for next week.

Now are you overwhelmed? This is a typical workday for most people, female or male, we all have a hell of a load to carry on a normal basis, we are a very stressed out people. If you’re a person who has all these hats to wear everyday and manages it, and even has the audacity to manage it well, a little confidence and pride is in order.

Sometimes confidence can be mistaken for cockiness to others and give the impression that we are pompous or rude, or worse, better than everyone else. I’ve been guilty of putting off that vibe and I have a friend who is constantly getting a bad rep because of the way she comes off to people, but as my friend I know her better than that. I know that she’d give the shirt off her back if someone needed it. I know that last year when she saw a fire off a country road and no fire trucks she pulled right over and ran inside, without for a second thinking of herself. I know that she’s fought through trials and tribulations like none I’ve ever seen and that anyone who calls her cocky or pompous can’t possibly know anything about her.

I believe those of us that have confidence issues or inferiority issues, have a big problem with the confidence of others. Confident, successful people walk with their heads held high and their eyes on the future and the prize, and won’t let things get in the way of their goals, they feel they’ve paid their dues and they want to collect on their hard work. How dare they!

Some of us make judgments before we even talk to a person. There is one problem with this method; deciding what type of person someone may be before letting them affect that decision is shortsighted and will only serve to keep you from knowing some really fabulous people.

Have you been guilty of judging someone without truly knowing them? I know I have been, and I know I’ve also been mistaken for a cocky and pompous person and wanted another chance to show I am not at all that way..

Have you been accused of being cocky, rude or pompous? How did you react and did you do anything to change the persons’ mind?

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No one ever told me that life would be easy and if someone dared tell you that it would be, they’re a damn liar.

The easiest time in life is during childhood or after you’ve won millions. The in-between can be downright hairy if you let it be.

I look at my son these days and find myself so jealous of his charmed life, he wakes up around 10 or 11 or whenever he wants to and watches tv for a while or plays his playstation or whatever tickles his fancy from the many things we’ve provided him to entertain himself.

Each morning that I leave on my way to work, I feel two things, jealousy that he gets to stay home; and pride that I provided a life for him where staying home doesn’t have to be such a boring experience. I didn’t have it so good when I was his age, but things weren’t available then either that could occupy my time like the things that are available now.

Here are some tips that might make the day to day seem less stressful if you can keep your outlook positive. Something to keep in mind anytime you have a fear of being fired or your job being dissolved or anything that creates a fear inside you of looking for another job, think about this, “I was looking for a job when I found this one”. That might make it a little easier to venture out there, update that resume and start spreading it like wildfire over the vacant job listings.

Another expression to keep in mind is to, “Leave it at the door” that works both ways in the professional world, leave your home life at the door as you walk into work and leave your work life at the door as you walk out of work, this helps keep you from carrying all your problems all the time at both places.

Say you’re having marital issues, leave that at the door and don’t think about it at work because letting those personal issues cloud your work will become a problem that takes you back to our first tip, looking for a job, think of work as your respite from life (if you can) and think of home as your respite from work. Leave your issues with each place where they belong, in their place. I know that’s hard, but it’s necessary to keep both lives separate.

Everything you learned about life in high school was wrong and they forgot to tell you that as you picked up your diploma, sorry. But I’m telling you now, time flies faster after high school, and high school doesn’t prepare you for the real world. “F” means FIRED, not fail and retake in the real world.

There are no rules, only laws, goals and morals. How you handle the grey areas in between laws, goals and morals is up to you, but know that you have to own what you sell. If you walk confidently and present yourself as a take charge person, someone who can fill the spaces where they’re needed, you better be able to do it.

Likewise if you mope around work everyday and do as little work as possible and spend as much time surfing the internet on their dime as you can, you have to understand why you’re being replaced. You may not like it, but if that’s how you are in your work ethic you have to own it and realize it’s probably your fault you got shitcanned.

No one said it would be easy to be an adult, no one said it would be fun and there’s no silver lining at the end unless you create it for yourself now. So don’t count on everything turning out roses in the end if you didn’t put some good quality mulch down and plant those babies.

Life is hard, but being unprepared for the stress that accompanies life is much much harder. Walking into life prepared is an advantage that not many parents give their children. We coddle our children and tell them that every thing’s okay when it’s not and everyone’s a winner when they’re not and time out is what happens when you do things wrong. BULLSHIT, it’s go hard or go home and if you break the law, you go to jail.

Don’t go looking in your neighbors’ yard, thinking their life is coming up roses because life is better over there, their grass is only greener because they have more shit. Cultivate your garden of eden with things that make you happy, hobbies that make you feel good and surround yourself with people that you can tolerate and you’re off to a head start.

But I have to leave you now because, I owe, I owe, so off to work I go!

Popularity: 82% [?]

I’m always checking the stats for MouthyGirl.com trying to be sure I’m providing good content. But I gotta tell ya, ever since I wrote Isn’t Great Sex Just…..Great? I get a lot of hits from people looking for sex or sexy pictures online. That’s been two months ago but it’s the leading search driving people to MouthyGirl. I don’t think they’re finding what they’re looking for.

I also took a moment to get a grade on MouthyGirl.com and was pleased to find that MouthyGirl got a good grade.

See my results. I got an A! That’s not a grade I’ve gotten very often, so go me!

A website grade of 90/100 for MouthyGirl.com means that of the hundreds of thousands of websites that have previously been evaluated(so this only counts the people who’ve done this test for their site as well), our algorithm has calculated that this site scores higher than 90% of them in terms of its marketing effectiveness.

It’s always nice to see my efforts are paying off a little bit, no matter how relative the result is.

Anyways, today I thought I’d talk about what’s coming up in the near future of MouthyGirl.com. I’m toying with the idea of writing a really hott post about sex. Tell me what your thoughts are about that if you will.

I also have thought a little about the next contest in October around Halloween. I might do a similar one sooner, not sure yet. But I will say that the contest in October will have 3 winners. Yes 3. So the next one I do, if I do one between now and then will maybe have 2 winners, but I think it’ll be a short contest with quick results, because the one in October is going to be a lot of fun and may be open for a little while since there will be several winners.

You definitely want to stick around because I’ve got some great posts lined up for you on topics to really get us talking about things here. I look forward to hearing your thoughts always and enjoy it immensely when you guys share your views.

Popularity: 59% [?]

Let’s face it ladies, we can be intimidating. Those of us that have confidence, a good job or are in school trying to get to that good living in the future and have goals and plans, we can be hard to approach. We put a lot of time and effort into looking put together, and ladies when it works, we can be a little idealized in a man’s head and he shuts down for fear of doing anything we won’t like.

MouthyGirls are pretty, smart, funny, outspoken, friendly people we get along with virtually anyone and so sometimes it’s that whole fear of rejection thing that gets to a man, he might think, well what if she’s out of my league?

Speaking up when you have something to say and not sounding ignorant and combining all of the elements that make up a MouthyGirl or any female that is successful make us sort of like a muse. Then there’s always the thing where he knows who you’ve been with and is afraid you’ll compare them. Logically, we know that the people in the past stay there, but that doesn’t always ease the mind of the object of your affection.

So let’s help him out a little. First of all, we’re all people. At the end of the day we all have to put our pants on one leg at a time. No matter how worldly a woman is or who you think she’s been with before, if she’s with you, alone, you’re ahead of any other guy out there.

Ladies, I think we need to be more literal when we speak to men. If you want him to kiss you, say so, be friendly and laugh at their jokes if you aren’t already. Tell him he looks nice and say something about his shirt that you like, using that as an excuse to touch his shirt or get close to him and maybe even move in for a kiss. I’m a firm believer in sending a clear message.

Look him up and down, then raise your eyebrows and smile at him in suggestion while he’s looking at you so he knows you’re into him.

Talk about things you’d like to do, movies you’d like to see, mention one that maybe the two of you should go see together because you think it would be fun. If by this time he doesn’t seem to be understanding where you’re leading things..they’re always the classic objectifying symbol that is grabbing his ass.

So what do you do to let him know you want him? This question is not just to the single people, you married folks have a few tricks up your sleeve, what are they?

Popularity: 98% [?]