MouthyGirl.com

I’m often asked when I mention MouthyGirl.com to people, what do I write about? Who is my audience? I am always left scrambling for words, trying to explain why I do this and who I’m doing it for.

The simple answer is I do it for myself. I write and hopefully some like minded individuals and even those not like minded, will read what I’ve written and either think I’m crazy or want to read more. The latter of course is what I hope for.

I started this site initially just intending to get my voice out there. To join the chorus of women who have found a place to have their opinion heard, however small a number of people there are listening. To show that my opinion is not unlike others out there and to hopefully attract a community of people who feel like I do about the world and all that goes on in it.

Tired of the bullshit, tired of the games, ready for people to realize what’s important in life and stop all the nonsense. I realize there are always going to be those that love the bullshit, games and nonsense I’m just not one of them, and I thought surely I’m not alone in that.

Honestly I want to parlay this into a magazine someday. Add a few other writers, maybe a couple of review writers too. Maybe one day that magazine will turn into a tv channel or network or something where we can have our own MouthyGirl version of the news. I don’t know, but I have ambitions and thought I’d just let you as my readers lead me where you want me to go. Trouble is you guys don’t talk much.

My overall point to writing this blog is to share an alternative opinion. One that doesn’t care about Hollywood and celebrities and what the tabloid news has to tell us. I don’t have big ideas for a movement of some sort, or an uprising of any kind. Not at all. I just know I’m not the only one out there that’s tired of having smoke blown up my ass by our government, being told that Hollywood determines sexy and working my ass off to end up in credit card debt hell.

I’m tired of being constantly advertised at and having products marketed to me that have no appeal at all, medicines that have side effects that are worse than the initial problem. We are a nation more inclined to drug our children instead of disciplining them and have simply stopped teaching them how to be good men and strong women for our future.

We give our kids diagnoses of ADD and ADHD and prescribe them Ritalyn to slow them down, changing their chemical makeup. Starting a chemical dependence early in life to solve problems. We are a nation always looking for a pill. A cure all. We are a do no work nation, make a pill for it and I’ll take it, but if it involves work, no thank you, I just can’t do it.

I for one am tired of it. Tired of all the bullshit in this nation, the unnecessary bullshit. It’s time for every man and woman in this nation to get with it, get after it and get right. I’m here to talk about that. To talk about things that matter to us. Not always, I’ll deviate sometimes to something silly, but I’ll always try to talk about things that matter to the real people in this world, the ones out their giving it their all every day.

How are you doin?

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We are constantly told how we should look. Always being told (male and female) what we are is not good enough. Well I say enough is enough. I think we should all start taking better care of ourselves, our husbands and our families and letting that world, that inner personal sanctum of life be where we focus all of our energy. Your relationship with your spouse for example…how is it? Have you asked him/her lately?

I’ve gotten out of the habit but for a long time after the hubby and I became more serious I would periodically ask him just out of the blue if we were okay. It opened the conversation up for any criticisms or discussion about anything that he felt we might need to talk about, and it wasn’t during a fight which is undoubtedly the worst time to bring up an issue you have with your significant other.

You have to take care of that relationship, cultivate the strongest relationship that you can, trust him/her and expect them to trust you and don’t do anything to break that trust. Don’t lie, don’t hide things and don’t be an asshole. Most importantly, know what’s important to the other person in this partnership you have. Know what their goals are, dreams and aspirations. It will help you to support them, encourage them, and bring them back on course when they might lose their way. That’s your job after all as their significant other, to be the other half, not necessarily the better half, but do be the other half, not half ass.

Then there’s the most fun part of the relationship. That too needs conversation, cultivation and most importantly, action! You know I’m talking about SEX. Recently I went to a “slumber party” at my sister’s house hosted by her friend, Melody. It was a fun party and brings attention, on a personal and intimate level (without embarrassment) to your sex life. Offering options and new tricks and techniques…it’s important to work your thing, you know what I mean?

Let’s face it people, we all have sex, and if we’re not we’re wishing we were. There’s no reason to be embarrassed about it in my opinion, honestly if you don’t take care of that sex life, it will not take care of itself. If you don’t enjoy sex, find out what that’s all about and do what you can do to ensure it’s enjoyable for you, because it is very important.

Don’t leave your man/woman hanging and only give it up occasionally, after a while they’ll begin to have feelings of self doubt and think you aren’t attracted to them anymore. They may not tell you that, but it’ll happen. You don’t want to be the reason someone else feels unloved and unattractive, especially if that person is your one and only.

If you love someone, love them right. Give it all you have and then more. Don’t expect them to do all the work, and don’t you do all the work either. You have to be the right person, try to be nice, don’t say things you don’t mean and really give it your all. We all have off days, but don’t make your relationship one big off day. Just because you’re past dating and you may have a few children doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have date night. With your partner and one with your kids, they love the idea of “dating” their parents. Especially if they know Mom and Dad still “date” they’re naturally going to want to be part of that.

Love your kids, take lots of pictures of them, make them laugh, tell them you love them and try to remember what it was like to be in their shoes. Remember that they’re just kids and let them be little. Let them be kids. Forgive them when they mess up and show them how to do right. Tell them about sex even if it makes you uncomfortable. Tell them about drugs even if you don’t want to, they need to know what their parents think, or by not talking about it they’ll think it’s okay.

What you don’t address leaves open for your kids to hear from other kids what they think. They want to know what people think, you gotta tell them what’s important to you, because they’ll listen. Talk to them when they’re teenagers about how cute they were when they were little, they like it.

Take care of you and yours. Stop worrying about what the rest of the world might think of you and worry about what your family thinks of you, they’re the ones that matter, your family’s opinion of you is the most important of all.

Don’t let them down. Forget about what goes on outside your front door and realize your priorities again. We get so caught up in the outside world we as a nation have been ignoring our homes, our children, our spouses. Families across this nation have been falling apart for years, kids grow up and get a therapist. It’s time for all the nonsense to stop. We drug our kids instead of hug our kids. Don’t you see what’s wrong with the picture?

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In light of recent discussion, I’ve been thinking over the weekend, more like reflecting on my past relationships. My friendships, the relationship I have with my Mother, etc. I have always felt that having regrets were a sad sad state of affairs and that I never wanted to have any.

In your hardest times in life, you will find out who your friends are, and the saddest thing is most of the time, you walk away from it with less friends and a broken heart. The important thing however is that you walk away from it.

Friends will swear they will be there for you and for some reason or another when the time comes, they are nowhere to be found. Sometimes out of spite we might be inclined to wish we’d never had that friendship, or relationship. But that’s no way to live at all. Regrets haunt you, make you bitter and give you wrinkles.

I think it’s impossible to go through life with no regrets, you will always have some, but ideally they’ll be small regrets. I say this because I believe that even if you’re in a bad relationship, if you can walk away from that having learned something about yourself, having learned anything at all, that’s a benefit that negates regret.

I have had my share of relationships in my life sour, my relationship with my Mom, a marriage that lasted a short short time, thankfully, acquaintances and several friendships that have come and gone through the years. Most of those I’ve learned something from. I think that life is a classroom and it’s our job to make sure we take everything away from it to expand our minds and lives that we can.

I’d like to know if you think so too. Can you tell me something you’ve gained from a relationship that you don’t have anymore, perhaps a memory that you cherish, a knowledge you gained that you never otherwise would have gained, a relationship that was borne of another that is now no longer, even.

We all have struggles and problems but if we learn from experience, including relationship experience, I think we gain the upper hand in life.

I am sure you’ve heard the expression that people come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime. I believe that’s true.

I often talk about my mother here, and our relationship, or lack thereof - by my choosing. While I am estranged from her now, and that makes me, I believe, a happier person, I would not be who I am today had I not come up that way. I am proud of me on most days and though I don’t understand the way my mom did things, I think it’s a vital part of who I am.

I had friends in high school that taught me the value of friendship and a shoulder to lean on, teachers that taught me things that I still enjoy doing, I learned how to write in high school not just from teachers, but from classmates as well, Ruby, who guest posted here, being one of them.

So now it’s your turn. Tell me some of your experiences, something you’ve taken away from a friendship, a relationship of any kind; teacher/student, parent/child, friend to friend, etc. Something you cherish and would never trade.

Here’s the Monday Mojo video for those of you that were waiting for it.

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Today I want to ask you about your friends….or rather, former friends. The ones who decided for some reason or another that they didn’t want to associate with you anymore. If you know why, discuss those lost friendships with me today, I am feeling a little miserable and would like some company.

Don’t get this wrong, I honestly don’t feel this friendship I have lost could continue after what she said, but I am sad over the loss just the same.

So for what reasons have you lost friends? I’ve lost several through the years and most of them were due to time and distance issues, I am not an incredibly social and outgoing person so I have never really had more than just a few close friends. The loss of one is a big loss to me.

I’m probably not the only person in this country who has lost a friend over this election, or others for that matter. This was a HOTT election, we had the first female ever running for the presidential seat as well as the first black man running for the presidential seat. And the man won. I know a lot of people are happy, and a lot of people are NOT so happy. Sadly a few friendships I’m sure have fallen out due to this. I think it’s a travesty to let politics come between friendships, unless of course, you’re a politician, then you have to be kind of picky I suppose. LOL.

But I’d like to hear from you about this, I know I can’t be the only one. I think the part of this that disgusts me the most about all the crap I’ve heard about Barack Obama becoming president is the racist remarks. When are the people of this country, of this fucking world, going to realize that COLOR DOES NOT MATTER!

But I am a patriot of the worst kind, I tend to think it makes a person appear to be, at least to me, of lesser of intelligence to be a racist, a hater.

I believe racism is a product of ignorance.

Ignorance of the fact that every family has it’s derelict, it’s got nothing to do with race. It has to do with family genealogy, a persons’ free will and how they were raised. I could get up on my soapbox about this all day long, but at the end of the day the result is still the same.

Only a few people will ever hear my voice echo the same thought so many millions of people have had before, to include Dr. Martin Luther King. It’s no mistake that Dr. King was placed next to our president elect on T-Shirts leading up to election day. He had a dream, and it’s being realized. What a day November 4th was!

I got emotional during Barack Obama’s speech at the end of the night, I too believe this country needs work, and a lot of it. All of his words hit home to me and to hear my “friend” tell it, he’s “just” a good public speaker. I don’t think so, I think he’s tapped into the minds of the majority of America and I too believe that the preference for the rich people and corporate America needs to be second to those of us in the middle class, those of us on Main Street, those of us opening businesses and creating jobs. I’m ready for change. And very tired of sacrificing for the morbidly rich.

But my decision has one casualty. The person I thought was my best friend. I realize now that she must have been judging me the entire time and has a really good poker face, but I’m still hurt.

Talk to me folks….even if I’ve never heard from you before, I know you’re there, I know you’re reading. Break your silence today and tell me about your experiences with friendship and what has made, or broken, some of yours.

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Hello Mouthy Fans! I’m Double Agent Girl and MG has asked me to guest post while she is away on her much deserved vacation!

I’ve been thinking, about MG’s “mojo”. Although she usually posts some great tunes here for us to get motivated on Fridays, I’ve been thinking a little deeper on the idea of what motivates me. As a single mother of two, I’d have to admit that those smiling faces have pushed me to work harder, sweat saltier and achieve greatness - all in the name of role model. I cannot discount that, but I want to go further, deeper into my own self…

Recently, I’ve been faced with a dilemma. Some people that I care about very much, people that are a part of my every day existence feel slighted by my “online life”. It goes deeper than petty jealousy, or time slights. It is personal to them, a feeling that I have another life that they are discluded from. At first, I laughed it off, silly silly… it is only a website… only words. But now, I need to look a little closer. Although I cannot apologize for spending my time in the blogosphere. I need to be in a place where all those things that make me “me” can flow. I need to write, I need to post my photography, I need to be connected to other people that are driven in the same way. Perhaps, in some small way, this little post can explain what I stumble over.

I write here to write. I expound on the things that I think about, funny, sad, serious…I’m not writing to somehow represent “my life”, there just isn’t a way to talk about all the people that touch me daily, or all the lovely things that happen from each second. I cannot explain the way my heart squeezes when Aftermath brushes the hair from my eyes… well I can, but not day after day. Because those things matter day after day. Minute after minute.

There is a separation between DAG and real life. In fact, the blogosphere is such a tiny, tiny part of it. Great people, wonderful writers, important moments and fleeting seconds where we just try to capture ONE word image. Recording just one doesn’t mean we throw all the other moments away. They are stored, here in my heart, and in there in my memory where I can call on them when I need to. Having a virtual personality doesn’t discount my real one. The heat of my palm on your arm, the scent of your shaving cream behind your ear, the twinkle in your eyes when you tease me. Those things are real, and they matter and I love them. I love every one of them. Even if I don’t write about them everyday.

It may be hard to see what really motivates someone. And I don’t know that I can rightly identify what my mojo really is. I feel more complete, I suppose, in being able to have an outlet for these creative energies. But without those everyday realities, I would be deficient. Little websites like mine round out a full and lovely life. How do I explain that to those who feel the opposite? How do I keep these small luxuries that keep me sane, in check, in thought - while still showing others what their worth is? Why does this become so difficult? I want to love them, and love me too.

DAG.
Double Agent Girl
Blog: www.doubleagentgirl.com
Photo:www.doublegentgirl.deviantart.com

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This post hails from CardioGirl a kick ass blogger Definitely a recommend read for you, I read nearly every post, if not every one of them.

And now…..without further delay…

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As a mere sprite, I was the youngest of six — five girls and one boy — my mother constantly told me the story of my birth and how everyone hoped, for her sake, that I would be a boy. Back then in the Stone Ages ultrasound was not used to check on the baby, much less to determine the gender, so it was a waiting game.

Regardless, in the late 60s, a pregnant woman who had four daughters and one boy garnered sympathy from those other women in a similar state. They would all tell my mother they hoped it was boy. Maybe, if she were lucky, she would have two sons.

She always finished the story with this, “But God gave me the baby I was meant to have. And that was you.” She made sure to tell me that she didn’t care, boy or girl, she just wanted a healthy baby. Then she would further elaborate that gender didn’t matter. Women can create their own opportunities; they are just as smart, just as capable and just as worthy.

But somehow, hearing that over and over I only picked up on the dismay the “other people” in her life expressed. I knew my mom loved me and was fine with the fact that I was a girl. But all I heard from her was that society had hoped for a boy for her.

I always thought it was weird the way she phrased the story. Couldn’t she have focused on something other than gender and ended with, “But God gave me the baby I was meant to have. And that was you.”

Times have changed, though, and society’s stigma of having a boy vs. a girl has lightened a bit. But I must admit when I was pregnant with my second child and out and about with my first daughter, people would say to me, “Well, maybe you’ll have a boy.” Then I had my second daughter.

And when I was out and about with my two daughters and pregnant the third time, almost everyone I ran into felt the need to speculate, “Maybe this will be your boy.” But between you and me, I really wanted another girl. I prayed for another girl. I understand the equipment that comes with girls. I enjoy my girls. I knew I would love a boy, but I wanted another girl.

And I made sure to never say that around my older daughters, because I didn’t want to taint their memories. And God sent me my third daughter.

Now when I talk with my girls it never comes up about their gender. So far this issue of boys being smarter than girls has not reared its ugly head. Yet. I do believe it’s possible to celebrate the opportunities available to girls without discounting girls.

Again, I really believe it’s all how you present the story. I could tell my daughters, like my mother told me, “You can do anything even though you’re a girl.”

But instead I like to tell my daughters, “Because you are clever and hard working you can achieve anything you want to achieve.” No disclaimers necessary.

Like most folks out there, I’m a work in progress. I am still trying to re-frame my own way of thinking about myself. I think I’m getting close. Although I still have to remind myself, daily, that I can achieve anything I want, as long as I put the effort into it.

I still have to tell myself I rock just because I’m me. Not a chick. Not a dude. But uniquely me.

Hopefully my daughters will grow up knowing they are more than just a girl – instead of less than a boy.

Cardiogirl

http://www.cardiogirl.net

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This post is from Ruby an artist, writer and overall talented and eloquent person. Known for works such as Sinister Sisters and other artwork found on DeviantArt.com.

Without further ado…

I was born afraid.

As a child I clung to walls when I walked. I developed more and more fears as I grew up. I was afraid of dogs, heights, the dark, people, being alone and most of all of going crazy. I recall trying to cross a bridge and being so paralyzed with fright I actually crawled to the other side. I could not explain it. I just knew it terrified me.

Fear crippled me.

By the time I was in high school I was suffering from panic attacks constantly. I was certain I was losing my mind and so it just got worse. I turned to drinking to calm me down. Drinking made me feel sane, that is until I found myself alone in my cluttered bedroom one night with an empty bottle of vodka at my feet and the feeling of not wanting to do anything… at all.

It was around that time that I was only interacting with people via the internet. It was effortless. I could type much better than try to get my voice to work with live people. I wanted change badly, though. And I told people, probably desperately, that I needed something more.

And then an internet friend suggested I visit them. It took less than a day for me to decide to go. I figured, what else was I doing? I took the greyhound to California. Now that sounds so simple, but it wasn’t. I was afraid. Afraid of all those people crammed up against each other, of being in a vehicle, of going somewhere I’d never been, of meeting new people and most of all of doing something so completely crazy. But I did.

That visit completely opened my mind. For the first time I knew what freedom was. And upon returning home to Texas, I decided right away that I wanted to move to California. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it all.

In a couple of months I had two luggage cases and a back pack packed up with art supplies and clothes and two hundred dollars in my pocket. I got on that greyhound and left. Everyone said I was being crazy. I knew it was what I really needed to do.

A lot happened during that journey. I was raped, robbed at gunpoint, homeless and all sorts of things. But I also found my own strength and overcame my fears. I wasn’t going to let anything keep me from pushing forward. I loved. I created art. Went to school and studied animation. Had a book published. Made a lot of great friends.

Most of all I faced myself and learned that ultimately I am in charge of my life. Friends and family are just a wonderful addition that completes it. Returning to Texas was not a failure. And even today as I’m unemployed and sleeping on my sister’s couch, I feel great. I still have confidence everything will be okay. And as long as I’m alive, I’m going to keep LIVING.

All it takes is just going out there and doing it.

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