I used to think that the gay marriage issue didn’t belong to me. It wasn’t my fight, I’m straight. I used to think that it didn’t matter if it was called a civil union or marriage. To me, it was all semantics. I privately thought that the citizenry was probably doing gays a favor by not allowing them to marry. Don’t more than 50% of marriages end in divorce now, anyway?
Then Proposition 8 was put on the ballot in California in a year where I was paying attention to politics closely. Earlier in the year, the California Supreme Court overturned California’s ban on same-sex marriage citing that the state’s Constitution protects the fundamental right to marry. Afterwords, thousands of same sex couples married. Then in November, the California electorate stripped that “right” away by changing the state’s Constitution to say that marriage is between a “man and a woman”. And then last week, the same Court that affirmed gays’ right to marry only a year earlier, upheld the same sex marriage ban imposed by Proposition 8, stripping their rights away.
Now, some will say that same-sex couples in California shouldn’t complain because they still have the right to civil unions. It is equal to marriage. The problem is that civil unions only protect same sex couples under the law in the event of a death. In other words, if one partner were to die, then the law protects them in property rights and in the receipt of insurance benefits. Same sex couples aren’t afforded about 1400 legal rights that are given to married couples. That may be separate, but it is not even close to being equal. Gay marriage should be legal and recognized–not just in California, but by all 50 states and the federal government.
I know that the majority of Americans don’t agree with me. A recent Quinnipac poll showed that 55% of Americans oppose same sex marriage in their states. But I find it odd that the majority of Americans think that same sex couples should get social security death benefits if their partner’s die, should be allowed to openly serve in the military, and should be allowed to adopt. Also, it surprised me that a majority of Americans disagree with the notion that same-sex marriage is a threat to traditional marriage. So what’s the beef with allowing them to marry, then? I don’t get it.
To me, it seems that the people are opposed to same sex marriage just to oppose it. To disallow one group of consenting adults the right to marry is discrimination. That is just wrong.
So the job search is over, YAY! Now you have a new job to go to…this is always a strange time, unless of course you do it frequently.
At this point you should have knowledge of several things for your first day, including a contact persons’ name and number, you should know what the dress code is, and also your job title and duties. By this time, if you’re going to be on a probationary period with this employer, you’ll know it.
This means that the job isn’t “yours” yet. You have the time period they gave you (typically 30 – 90 days) to prove you should be hired beyond the probationary period. A lot of companies are opting to do this now because sometimes you just can’t find out everything in an interview. Legally.
You know what I mean; tardiness problems, bad hygiene, bad attitude, improper dress, chronic illness, laziness….family drama that spills into the workplace…it’s a long list that gets longer everyday because of those sorry people who don’t take their jobs seriously enough to actually earn the money they make.
They give good employees like you and me a bad name. To be perfectly blunt, this is why personality tests and credit checks are becoming commonplace in the interview process. Bad habits and choices spread across your life, they don’t just affect your home life.
Anyways, when you go to work somewhere new, it’s difficult to feel confident because you don’t know anyone. Just smile at people as you walk by, that gesture alone can do wonders for other people’s impression as you’re shown around your new workplace.
As long as you’re going to be surrounded by other people working for someone else, you need to be an adult and make the best of it, learn what you can, take opportunities that are available and grow. Corporate America has things to offer, you just have to recognize it. All employers have something to offer beyond just a paycheck, even if all it might be is a lesson learned.
Part of the first day on a new job is the fear of not being liked or making a bad impression. So don’t be the jackass that comes in and starts badmouthing everyone and everything you don’t like. If you’re a pessimist, don’t make it public, if you’re judgmental, don’t tell everyone, these are all things you should keep to yourself and only share with those already familiar with you.
Smile early and smile often, make sure it’s brushed and sincere, but use it as a tool and don’t be greedy with it, a smile will light up your face and draw people to you. Seriously.
Additionally, don’t ask one person every question you have. If you don’t know where the bathroom is yet, use that as an excuse to introduce yourself to a coworker, “Hi, I’m _____. I’m new here and haven’t been pointed to the bathroom yet, do you mind showing me to the ladies room?” When it’s lunchtime ask someone where a good restaurant is, or to show you to the building’s cafe, this will break the ice and possibly lead to a nice lunch with someone else..or a nice lunch people watching.
Say thank you and please, and be agreeable. This trial period isn’t just with your boss, the people around you have a little bit to do with how your co-existence will be, so don’t forget that nobody likes a jerk. And for crying out loud, don’t try to be someone’s best friend!
It’s another day, another dollar – another window of opportunity is open for you now. See it for what it is, a new, fresh day with opportunity in your path. Who wouldn’t want to be you?
The article discusses Generation X (those born between 1965 and 1977) and Generation Y (those born between 1980 and 1996) and how our lifestyles, parenting styles and children themselves have changed over time.
I know as a parent it’s hard to decide which ideology to subscribe to, whether to spank or to put your child in time out, whether to have your kids calendar filled with activities or let them play outside with neighborhood kids, to allow them to have a cell phone or not to, it’s inevitable that there’s gonna be a misstep or two.
This article takes a closer look, a psychological one to try to explain what’s set this change in motion:
“Many researchers consider members of Generation X to have been among the least nurtured children in American history with half coming from split families, 40 percent raised as latchkey kids — literally, home alone.
‘They are trying to heal the wounds from their own childhoods through their children,’ says Dr. Michael Brody, a child psychiatrist and chair of the Television and Media Committee of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry.
In indulging their children’s moods, Brody argues, some parents may be trying to protect their children from experiencing the kind of anxiety and neglect that they themselves suffered as youngsters.”
They’re talking about the shift in discipline, the fact that children are often not held accountable for their behavior, regardless of how appalling.
As I grew up and as an adult now, I’ve seen this gradual change, of course there’s the usual scapegoats, video games and television, but I’ll tell you something. Your children should know the difference between television and real life.
Our children are seeing things in their childhood that we never saw in ours, the news showers us with bad news and horrific tales of crime constantly, this is all true. But it is our job as parents not to let television and popular culture teach our children about the world and how to behave in it, it’s our job. OURS.
Your children need more education than they get at school, they get educated intellectually there, but it’s your job as a parent to teach them about the real world and how they’re expected to behave in it, you know “street smarts”. Or have we forgotten that term?
If you don’t teach them and you fail to bring the real world to their doorstep, it is you that will pay the price. When your child can’t keep a job, won’t keep a job or worse, has no intention of ever working because he has parents that pay his way – you will understand far too late the consequences of not providing them with consequences for bad behavior.
The article goes on to describe the future..
What does this mean for their future as adults? We may be starting to see some of the effects in Generation Y, those born between 1980 and 1996, whose self-centered — if not downright arrogant — workplace behavior has been well-documented in the popular press since the mid-2000s.
“They’ve grown up questioning their parents, and now they’re questioning their employers. They don’t know how to shut up, which is great, but that’s aggravating to the 50-year-old manager who says, ‘Do it and do it now,’ ” says Jordan Kaplan, an associate managerial science professor at Long Island University-Brooklyn in New York, in a USA Today article.
As for today’s little kids? “No one will want to hire them,” says Brody. That’s not an encouraging thought, especially in these economic times.
Generation Y has already been in the workforce for 10+ years, while I have seen the bad attitudes and refusal to accept work life for what it is, necessary and not fun. To those parents still struggling with what to do, I recommend “The New Dare to Discipline”. I read the original Dare to Discipline in paperback when my son was about 4 or 5, and another book, “The New Strong-Willed Child“, I read “Parenting the Strong Willed Child” at the same time I read “Dare to Discipline” and it gave me new tools to use, which I desperately needed. At the time I was a single mom, overcompensating for what I felt I lacked with my son, which was leading me straight down the path to having a child that had absolutely no respect for himself or anyone else and I had to do something.
These books were in perfect time for me, I felt they both gave reasonable tools for discipline, made a lot of good common sense, and worked in practice with my son very well. At 11, he’s a good kid and aside from little things here and there that truly can be attributed to boys being boys (window broken and occasional bad grades) all his friends’ parents like him. For my son, the rules are simple and few, but they must be followed.
No rules is a bad thing, too many rules is a bad thing, but rules that make sense for your child and lead them down the path to productive adulthood are necessary. Kids need consistency and accountability, it’s what shapes their drive and self discipline later in life. It is your job to turn your child into a productive citizen of the world.
There is a little hope though…
Economic climate does seem to have an effect on manners. Indeed, some experts believe that trend of rudeness among kids first emerged with the rise of Wall Street and its culture of entitlement in the mid-1980s, which is when Generation X began having children. It has been building since then, they say. But today’s downturn may inspire renewed prudence.
“I think that people who lose their wealth, their jobs, and other emblems of success that gave them a mindless assurance about their social status — plus with the new standards in the White House — may examine their values more seriously,” predicts pediatrician Gordon. “It will be less easy to fob off your inner questions by purchasing an expensive education, summer camp or horseback riding classes.”
It may also be easier if Gen X parents start implementing the popular campaign that they grew up with themselves: “Just say ‘No.’ ”
. I read the original Dare to Discipline in paperback when my son was about 4 or 5, and another book, “
“, I read “Parenting the Strong Willed Child” at the same time I read “Dare to Discipline” and it gave me new tools to use, which I desperately needed. At the time I was a single mom, overcompensating for what I felt I lacked with my son, which was leading me straight down the path to having a child that had absolutely no respect for himself or anyone else and I had to do something. 
