I’ve been seeing advertisements on VH1 for a new show called Daisy of Love. We all know about Rock of Love, with Bret Micheals. Ick. Then there’s Flavor Flav, the Bachelor, the Bachelorette, and it goes on and on. We have the internet; we have telephones, clubs, libraries, grocery stores, millions of places where other people, including rock stars and famous people, have found love on their own without the help of a TV show before.

What is your major malfunction people? The problem I have with these shows is that the people on them are hardly sincere; they’re going on a TV. show for crying out loud! They’re either aspiring thespians, overly dramatic during their five minutes of fame, or trying to use these shows as a springboard to something else. We now have celebrity reality show stars that are on other reality shows…um yeah – springboard. Like that show I Love Money where the contestants form alliances with other contestants and the closer to the end it gets, the more people turn on each other.

Do we not get enough of that in real life? Watch the news if that’s entertainment for you, there’s plenty of reality on TV to be had, without manufacturing it. What really gets me is that these shows have taken over the few remnants I had left of TV. In all their ridiculousness I’ve lost my MTV and VH1, both used to be channels that I could turn on in the morning and not change until I went to bed. I don’t have that kind of channel loyalty anymore. I can’t watch Headbanger’s Ball anywhere anymore, ahem MTV Fail! I’m stuck with pop and country music, they occasionally throw me a bone with rock, but there’s no metal anywhere on TV or most of the other music I enjoy the most. Thanks premium channels for forsaking me for reality show stupidity.

You know I wonder if MTV will ever get a clue and create a channel clone of their channel in the 80’s and early 90’s, when there was music all day, every day, and the shows were showcasing different genre’s of music, not stupid nonmusic related shows. MTV 2 didn’t fit the bill, Paladia or whatever it’s called now is mostly concerts-and I hate live performances unless I’m at them. What gives MTV?? You suck now, that’s what.

This is why I only watch one show, and ironically it’s a reality show. Hell’s Kitchen is the only show I make sure I’m home to see. At least that show makes sense, now that’s entertainment. All these shows with people finding love or turning on friends they make or doing outrageous things are old hat. Find something new, or better yet, recycle from back when I loved TV. TV is losing the war with activity because it sucks now!

Alright people, come gather round in a circle and let’s talk.

Back in November we talked about taking care of your business, making sure that sex life of yours is intact, healthy and keeping everyone happy. Because if not, eyes start to wonder and as soon as the economy gets better the divorce rate will rise drastically and you my friend will be left buying plastic fakes to replace the real thing.

However, I did not tell you to go and make BABIES! You guys are procreating, not just having a good time between the sheets. Don’t you know we don’t need a baby boom! I know you’ve already started, I know I know, but spread the word children, there are alternatives. You can have fun without making babies! I promise!

I’m disappointed in you, I thought you knew better than that and that you can’t have nearly as much fun when there are little feet pitter pattering about in the house.

All you celebrities need to listen up too, now that you’ve all decided to have babies the magazines are making it cute and hip to have little tricycle motors – just stop it!
Our teenagers don’t need to follow the example of Juno, no matter how cute and touching the movie was, in real life it’s not that damn easy!

So your assignment is to check out the links I’ve given you, add some spice to your life as well as some sanity, and report back to me in the morning! If you don’t heed my advice you’ll be buying clothes like this and reading books like this.

You bunch of rabbits!