I got this email from my stepmom as a forward and wanted to share it, it’s cute

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I’m dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

4. I thought that I could love no other –
that is until I met your brother.

5. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar
bowl’s empty and so is your head.

6. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But please don’t take that bag off your face.

7. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Darn, I’m good at telling lies!

8. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

9. My feelings for you no words can convey,
Except for maybe ‘Go away”

10. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

I’ve been seeing advertisements on VH1 for a new show called Daisy of Love. We all know about Rock of Love, with Bret Micheals. Ick. Then there’s Flavor Flav, the Bachelor, the Bachelorette, and it goes on and on. We have the internet; we have telephones, clubs, libraries, grocery stores, millions of places where other people, including rock stars and famous people, have found love on their own without the help of a TV show before.

What is your major malfunction people? The problem I have with these shows is that the people on them are hardly sincere; they’re going on a TV. show for crying out loud! They’re either aspiring thespians, overly dramatic during their five minutes of fame, or trying to use these shows as a springboard to something else. We now have celebrity reality show stars that are on other reality shows…um yeah – springboard. Like that show I Love Money where the contestants form alliances with other contestants and the closer to the end it gets, the more people turn on each other.

Do we not get enough of that in real life? Watch the news if that’s entertainment for you, there’s plenty of reality on TV to be had, without manufacturing it. What really gets me is that these shows have taken over the few remnants I had left of TV. In all their ridiculousness I’ve lost my MTV and VH1, both used to be channels that I could turn on in the morning and not change until I went to bed. I don’t have that kind of channel loyalty anymore. I can’t watch Headbanger’s Ball anywhere anymore, ahem MTV Fail! I’m stuck with pop and country music, they occasionally throw me a bone with rock, but there’s no metal anywhere on TV or most of the other music I enjoy the most. Thanks premium channels for forsaking me for reality show stupidity.

You know I wonder if MTV will ever get a clue and create a channel clone of their channel in the 80’s and early 90’s, when there was music all day, every day, and the shows were showcasing different genre’s of music, not stupid nonmusic related shows. MTV 2 didn’t fit the bill, Paladia or whatever it’s called now is mostly concerts-and I hate live performances unless I’m at them. What gives MTV?? You suck now, that’s what.

This is why I only watch one show, and ironically it’s a reality show. Hell’s Kitchen is the only show I make sure I’m home to see. At least that show makes sense, now that’s entertainment. All these shows with people finding love or turning on friends they make or doing outrageous things are old hat. Find something new, or better yet, recycle from back when I loved TV. TV is losing the war with activity because it sucks now!