So the job search is over, YAY! Now you have a new job to go to…this is always a strange time, unless of course you do it frequently.

At this point you should have knowledge of several things for your first day, including a contact persons’ name and number, you should know what the dress code is, and also your job title and duties. By this time, if you’re going to be on a probationary period with this employer, you’ll know it.

This means that the job isn’t “yours” yet. You have the time period they gave you (typically 30 – 90 days) to prove you should be hired beyond the probationary period. A lot of companies are opting to do this now because sometimes you just can’t find out everything in an interview. Legally.

You know what I mean; tardiness problems, bad hygiene, bad attitude, improper dress, chronic illness, laziness….family drama that spills into the workplace…it’s a long list that gets longer everyday because of those sorry people who don’t take their jobs seriously enough to actually earn the money they make.

They give good employees like you and me a bad name. To be perfectly blunt, this is why personality tests and credit checks are becoming commonplace in the interview process. Bad habits and choices spread across your life, they don’t just affect your home life.

Anyways, when you go to work somewhere new, it’s difficult to feel confident because you don’t know anyone. Just smile at people as you walk by, that gesture alone can do wonders for other people’s impression as you’re shown around your new workplace.

As long as you’re going to be surrounded by other people working for someone else, you need to be an adult and make the best of it, learn what you can, take opportunities that are available and grow. Corporate America has things to offer, you just have to recognize it. All employers have something to offer beyond just a paycheck, even if all it might be is a lesson learned.

Part of the first day on a new job is the fear of not being liked or making a bad impression. So don’t be the jackass that comes in and starts badmouthing everyone and everything you don’t like. If you’re a pessimist, don’t make it public, if you’re judgmental, don’t tell everyone, these are all things you should keep to yourself and only share with those already familiar with you.

Smile early and smile often, make sure it’s brushed and sincere, but use it as a tool and don’t be greedy with it, a smile will light up your face and draw people to you. Seriously.

Additionally, don’t ask one person every question you have. If you don’t know where the bathroom is yet, use that as an excuse to introduce yourself to a coworker, “Hi, I’m _____. I’m new here and haven’t been pointed to the bathroom yet, do you mind showing me to the ladies room?” When it’s lunchtime ask someone where a good restaurant is, or to show you to the building’s cafe, this will break the ice and possibly lead to a nice lunch with someone else..or a nice lunch people watching.

Say thank you and please, and be agreeable. This trial period isn’t just with your boss, the people around you have a little bit to do with how your co-existence will be, so don’t forget that nobody likes a jerk. And for crying out loud, don’t try to be someone’s best friend!

It’s another day, another dollar – another window of opportunity is open for you now. See it for what it is, a new, fresh day with opportunity in your path. Who wouldn’t want to be you?

I grew up never fully understanding what love is…what it meant to love and be loved until I had my son. I understood when I had him what it meant to really love, to be willing to give up anything and everything for that little person you are responsible for bringing up, with love and respect and you hope you don’t screw up.

I spent a lot of time reading books while I was pregnant and even after he was born, while he slept I did a lot of reading, I even traded classes and took child development classes my senior year in high school once I found out I was pregnant and tried to learn all that I could to be a good mother, or at least decent. I felt that my example hadn’t been what I wanted to be and I needed to learn as much as possible so that I could make informed decisions as his mother.

My Little Valentine

I thought I did pretty good, even better once I was divorced and it was just me and the little guy. We had a great time together and spent a lot of time just having fun, we used to have a weekly “date night” where we’d go see a movie after dinner and he’d of course crash on the way home in the car, but I think those will be good memories for him.

The Valentine

Then I met J. From the first time we talked over the computer, on AOL of all places, I knew there was something different about him. A sincerity I’d never really seen in a man before, an honesty that broke down all the walls I had put up against people since childhood. From the first time we met, after a week of corresponding by email and talking on the phone, I really wanted to become a part of his life, and make him a part of mine.

I had always kept my dating life away from my son, and that’s not to say I did a lot of dating, I didn’t. But the few dates I went on I was sure my son wasn’t there and didn’t have any interactions with the other person. I didn’t think he needed to be part of that. When I met J though, it was different, he was different. He had a respect for that relationship between myself and my son and it didn’t take long for me to decide that I really wanted to make an effort to keep him around and introduced him to the little guy, who of course was a direct reflection of me.

My little guy was five at that time and in kindergarten. He has always been a fun boy and easy to love and get along with. He can carry on good conversations and can be read like a book, so it’s easy to tell when he’s upset or having problems so that we can help him.

Before I met J my priorities had been my son, school and work, in that order. I hadn’t met but one or two people since my divorce and wasn’t all that into dating really, it seemed cold and superficial and I never liked the bar and club scene, so my options I guess were limited to fellow students and coworkers, of which the pool was tainted and dirty, left with those choices I was happier single.

The first time we met, he made a move to hug me and I let him. Admittedly I’m not an affectionate person, our family was not the affectionate type so it just never became a part of my makeup, a habit to hug and cuddle. Not that I minded it. By the end of that evening I was swooning over him.

After that initial meeting I didn’t think he would call me because I had baggage and all. But he did and as surprised as I was, I was equally intrigued and enraptured by him. I fell in love quickly and have been that way since. I could ask for no better friend, partner, or lover.

I can’t imagine finding a better role model for my son. He’s willing to answer questions, show my son things that he’ll need to know as an adult and coached him on what it is to be a man. He treats him like his own son. I can only hope that one day my son realizes all that J has been there for and shared with him and appreciates that relationship of a father to a son, he could ask for no better.

As an adult I have learned what love is and that I cannot live without it. J and my son have taught me more about love than any author ever thought about putting in a book and it turned out I had pretty good mothering instincts. My son is a great boy and I’ve got a great man to be my Valentine every year for as long as this life allows us.