Mortality and Facing It

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I was visiting with my Dad a few days ago when he announced that he has Early Onset Alzheimers and that he’s taking medication but that he feels it will end badly. I knew he had it, he just was finally diagnosed and accepting treatment for it. He had a stroke a year and a half ago and it’s been rough since then. It changed him, he’s working still and is amazed that he can and still does it well but when you’ve been doing something all your life, it’s second nature.

When I was younger my Dad always seemed immortal to me, I know I’m not the only one who thought that way about their Dad. He was my hero for a long time, the big guy that could fix any car, with so many people into cars, I tried to absorb as much knowledge about them as I could, sadly it didn’t stick.

I’ve taken for granted that my family is getting older, I am self involved and caught up in my own little world so much that I forget sometimes that my time here is short, I don’t have a lot to spare and definitely not any to waste.

I hurt inside that he’s so fearful of the outcome that faces him. I see the fear in his eyes, the terror at losing control, forgetting the things that he’s known and having watched my Grandmother’s memory fade until she didn’t even recognize him, I don’t blame him for being so terrified, I’m terrified.

Folks, it’s a real bitter pill for me to swallow, I love my Dad and I love my Mom and everyone in my family even though I’ve been a contentious bitch to them all at some time or for a period of time, I love them and want them to be here forever and no matter what I hope they all know that.

I don’t like seeing my Dad like that, especially since I’m not in a position to help financially if necessary – that freaks me out a lot.

Do you have severe illness in your family? How are you coping? Please discuss.


When You Thought I Wasn’t Looking {Kid to Parent}

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When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw you hang my
first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately
wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw you feed a
stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind
to animals.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw you make my
favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little
things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw you make a
meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I
learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw you take care
of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have
to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw how you
handled your responsibilities, even when you didn’t
feel good, and I learned that I would have to be
responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw tears come
from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things
hurt, but it’s all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw that you
cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I learned most of
life’s lessons that I need to know to be a good and
productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I looked at you and
wanted to say, ‘Thanks for all the things I saw when
you thought I wasn’t looking.’

Each of us (parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher, friend)
influences the life of a child.

How will you touch the life of someone today? Just by
sending this to someone else, you will probably make
them at least think about their influence on others.
Live simply.. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

Got this in email and had to share it, I think it sums it up quite nicely. Enjoy.


Bite Your Tongue!

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It’s the holiday season, the time of year when everyone is supposed to be on their best behavior and put up with the most crap from people. Drunk relatives at dinner on the holiday, relatives in jail on the holiday, gossipers, mean spirited people, they all need love during the holidays.

Regardless of the dysfunction in your own family, it’s good form to swallow your pride, show up and smile and make like you like these people. They are after all the reason you are the way that you are, and we’re proud of that aren’t we?

So go ahead and use this post as your personal purge place of all that is your holiday irritation. Something happen every holiday that you’re not looking forward too? We’ll comfort you, share here, we all have that one thing that we know will happen that really gets under our skin.

I’ll start. Growing up, my Mom didn’t express a lot of care, affection or any of that sort of gushiness you expect from mothers that love their kids to death. However, the grandkids are a different story, they get love, gushiness, the whole ball of wax. It grosses me out. I’m glad for the kids, they need it and should have it, so it’s great that she does it for them, I just can’t help but wonder if it’s an act to be accepted.

It just grosses me out. Your turn.


How Could You?

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In the news locally recently a baby girl went missing and a young mother cried out on the news for help in finding her baby. My heart went out to her as she cried that she needed her baby on the 8:00 news.

Then there was new information revealed and the father was arrested for interfering with an investigation. This morning yet more information is revealed and the mother has been arrested, apparently the baby has been killed.

To that poor 9 month old soul, I hope she rests in peace, this world hardly new her, but to the parents of that poor child who cried out to the media for help knowing that there was no help to be found for her deserve every punishment the law can throw at them.

In my opinion crimes against children are the most heinous. It takes an especially sick mind to make a child a victim, to look an innocent child in the face and still want to harm them. I mourn today for Daisja Weaver.

Now the whole story is out, that the mom feared for herself and her baby and didn’t know what to do. CALL THE COPS! In the news story she says when he picked her up from work, THE DAY AFTER THE DEED WAS DONE, she was forced to go to Lake Lewisville where Dad dumped the body.

I realize it’s hard to cast blame and shadow on those inside the situation, but how do you function in any fashion normally at work when your child has been murdered? How do you get in a vehicle with a person that has killed your child? How do you look at that person and not kill them yourself?

Poor baby Daisja, who will never have a life, deserves justice.