It’s no secret that Christmas is not my favorite holiday, when I was a kid it was, of course every kid loves Christmas…that’s before the bills.

On Christmas Day I looked at pictures people happily posted of their trees with presents everywhere, so and so had a visit from Santa and so forth. Yay.

I didn’t even put up a tree. I felt a little guilty because my son didn’t get to see Christmas represented in our living room with a tree, lights and ornaments, under which my cats like to hide and occasionally topple the whole structure.

We told him what we were getting him on Christmas Eve so he wouldn’t wake up feeling empty handed, he was happy.

I wanted to keep that money for me though. Is that terrible? $280 bucks! Do you know what I could do with $280 bucks? Pssssh! Honestly, the kid has a rotten attitude most of the time, but I couldn’t think of anything else he would want that hadn’t already been bought for him.

What I want to know though is what you really wanted for Christmas. What was it, did you tell anyone you wanted it? Did you get it?

I wanted to go shopping, as much as I hate it on any normal day, when I want to go I really want to and I wanted to go shopping very badly over the weekend. I had family engagements though, and now the mood has passed.

Materialism. I admit I am guilty of it, I want what other people have just as much as the next person, but I also have a habit of convincing myself why I shouldn’t buy something, needed or not. Most of the time, the miser in me wins.

What really helps is that I despise shopping and turning my money loose. I find however that I have an urge to travel more and more, I want to explore the country and find favorite places to visit.

I want to fill photo albums with memories. I want to tell my Grandchildren about adventures I had and places I saw, people we met. I’ve spent a lot of my life already looking at walls and waiting for paychecks, waiting for this and waiting for that. I’m ready to start doing and going, being and living.

I announced to the hubs that I would like for us to begin to position ourselves, financially, in such a way that we can live off of one income and save the other. It was met with surprise, then disbelief and finally resignation as it was realised that I am very serious.

I do not want to spend my entire life working. Due to this I’ll be spending a little time soul searching and exploring my ideals for this website. I have dreams that I have been subconsciously subduing and it’s high time I start taking the steps to realise them.

This is gonna be a ride, and after all that’s what life is designed to be right? A journey through – exploring what there is to explore and creating memories worth keeping. I’ve been existing, and that is simply not gonna be enough anymore.