Your Kids Education IS Important to You

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Unless your child expresses ambition and drive from a very young age, your childs’ education IS important to you and the most compelling reason for this – you are not independently wealthy so you can’t afford lazy, uneducated kids. How do I know you’re not rich?

Rich people don’t read MouthyGirl. Chances are one out of every two of you reading this didn’t go to college, and if you did, you may not have gotten a degree. It is our job as parents to teach our children better than we know, guide them to lead a better life. How can you do that if you don’t start with their education?

If you don’t care about your kids’ education, they won’t either and the teacher can’t make them care, no matter how hard they try. What you’re left with is a child that is complacent about schoolwork, and not only school work – any hard work. Sure he might make the effort to pass just to keep from being held back, but the fundamentals aren’t there, nor is the work ethic that boss’s are looking for everywhere.

Why is this a problem? That child grows up with only a very basic skillset to get a job with and is competing with college graduates for jobs. Does that sound fair to you? For you and me, we can still get a job based on experience, selling ourselves and demonstrating what we know, our children will not be so lucky, at 30 I can tell you I have been passed up for many jobs because I don’t hold a degree, many of which I was capable of doing but didn’t have the degree to back me up. It is only going to get more difficult for people like me.

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Being a parent means one thing first and foremost – IT AIN’T ALL ABOUT YOU ANYMORE. So why would you leave your child out their alone, with no one to care about their school work, work ethic, dreams and goals? I know it’s hard to be an active and attentive parent but believe me it’ll be worth it, before the dear hubby was around I was a single mom and even then I managed, so you have no excuse.

Are you involved in your kids’ school life?

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How Could You?

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In the news locally recently a baby girl went missing and a young mother cried out on the news for help in finding her baby. My heart went out to her as she cried that she needed her baby on the 8:00 news.

Then there was new information revealed and the father was arrested for interfering with an investigation. This morning yet more information is revealed and the mother has been arrested, apparently the baby has been killed.

To that poor 9 month old soul, I hope she rests in peace, this world hardly new her, but to the parents of that poor child who cried out to the media for help knowing that there was no help to be found for her deserve every punishment the law can throw at them.

In my opinion crimes against children are the most heinous. It takes an especially sick mind to make a child a victim, to look an innocent child in the face and still want to harm them. I mourn today for Daisja Weaver.

Now the whole story is out, that the mom feared for herself and her baby and didn’t know what to do. CALL THE COPS! In the news story she says when he picked her up from work, THE DAY AFTER THE DEED WAS DONE, she was forced to go to Lake Lewisville where Dad dumped the body.

I realize it’s hard to cast blame and shadow on those inside the situation, but how do you function in any fashion normally at work when your child has been murdered? How do you get in a vehicle with a person that has killed your child? How do you look at that person and not kill them yourself?

Poor baby Daisja, who will never have a life, deserves justice.

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Donating Her Body to Science

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My Grandmother is very ill, on her deathbed to be quite frank about it, it’s a hard time for me because I remember her before the Alzheimers’ and she was such a joy to be around, her nickname was Weezie and I think she got that nickname from my Uncle Bill because she smoked all her life, or at least as long as I can remember. She had a spunk about her that only a hard life can give you and sarcasm at ready supply.

I spent weekends with her sometimes, holiday time during the school year because both my parents were working (after my grandma retired) and spent a lot of time with her really throughout my life. I enjoyed her humor, she really truly cared for me and would even buy gifts for my older sister during the holidays because her dad wasn’t around.

I remember one Christmas my Grandma and her sister, my Aunt Pat showed up at my house with bags and bags of gifts and I remember just loving her so much for making my day so much better and for being my Grandma and for caring for my sister too. I always appreciated how much my dad and Grandma included my older sister, she had been left out of that kind of family with her own selfish father and I was glad mine loved her as much as they did. My Dad will to this day tell you that he fell in love with my sister before he did my Mom.

I’ve missed my Grandma and wish that Alzheimer’s was a curable disease already, I hate what it’s done to her. She doesn’t know anyone anymore and she won’t eat or take her medication and this has been going on for a while now. Hospice has been called in to care for her and we all know that means it’ll be over soon. The day my stepmom told me Hospice was being called in, last Saturday was a very rough day for me, I felt like that was the day she died, I grieved so much on that day and as I write about the feelings I well up again.

But my Grandmother is a brave woman, and had decided before her mind began slipping away from her that she wanted to donate her body to science. Our own mortality is such a scary thing to think about and I am still foolish enough to believe I have a lot of life ahead of me. I talked about this with my husband last night and he’s very creeped out about it, doesn’t think it’s normal and I can’t pretend I understand that. I don’t.

I think it’s the ultimate in self sacrifice to donate an organ or your body to science. The benefits to the world are incredible!

I guess I can sort of understand the morbidity in all of it and why J is creeped out by the idea that organs are taken out and studied. I think it’s fascinating to know that my grandmother will be single handedly advancing scientific knowledge about the body, and possibly helping a few people directly.

I think I’ve thought of all the things that are affected by organ or body donation and I just come back to thinking about how selfless it is. I find it noble and honorable to donate organs, blood, or your body to science. I love my Grandmother and can think of no better way for her to live on than in this way.

What are your feelings about this?

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Kids These Days

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I read an article on MSNBC about children called, Today’s tykes: Secure kids or rudest in history? a very interesting read.

The article discusses Generation X (those born between 1965 and 1977) and Generation Y (those born between 1980 and 1996) and how our lifestyles, parenting styles and children themselves have changed over time.

I know as a parent it’s hard to decide which ideology to subscribe to, whether to spank or to put your child in time out, whether to have your kids calendar filled with activities or let them play outside with neighborhood kids, to allow them to have a cell phone or not to, it’s inevitable that there’s gonna be a misstep or two.

This article takes a closer look, a psychological one to try to explain what’s set this change in motion:

“Many researchers consider members of Generation X to have been among the least nurtured children in American history with half coming from split families, 40 percent raised as latchkey kids — literally, home alone.

‘They are trying to heal the wounds from their own childhoods through their children,’ says Dr. Michael Brody, a child psychiatrist and chair of the Television and Media Committee of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry.

In indulging their children’s moods, Brody argues, some parents may be trying to protect their children from experiencing the kind of anxiety and neglect that they themselves suffered as youngsters.”

They’re talking about the shift in discipline, the fact that children are often not held accountable for their behavior, regardless of how appalling.

As I grew up and as an adult now, I’ve seen this gradual change, of course there’s the usual scapegoats, video games and television, but I’ll tell you something. Your children should know the difference between television and real life.

Our children are seeing things in their childhood that we never saw in ours, the news showers us with bad news and horrific tales of crime constantly, this is all true. But it is our job as parents not to let television and popular culture teach our children about the world and how to behave in it, it’s our job. OURS.

Your children need more education than they get at school, they get educated intellectually there, but it’s your job as a parent to teach them about the real world and how they’re expected to behave in it, you know “street smarts”. Or have we forgotten that term?

If you don’t teach them and you fail to bring the real world to their doorstep, it is you that will pay the price. When your child can’t keep a job, won’t keep a job or worse, has no intention of ever working because he has parents that pay his way – you will understand far too late the consequences of not providing them with consequences for bad behavior.

The article goes on to describe the future..

What does this mean for their future as adults? We may be starting to see some of the effects in Generation Y, those born between 1980 and 1996, whose self-centered — if not downright arrogant — workplace behavior has been well-documented in the popular press since the mid-2000s.

“They’ve grown up questioning their parents, and now they’re questioning their employers. They don’t know how to shut up, which is great, but that’s aggravating to the 50-year-old manager who says, ‘Do it and do it now,’ ” says Jordan Kaplan, an associate managerial science professor at Long Island University-Brooklyn in New York, in a USA Today article.

As for today’s little kids? “No one will want to hire them,” says Brody. That’s not an encouraging thought, especially in these economic times.

Generation Y has already been in the workforce for 10+ years, while I have seen the bad attitudes and refusal to accept work life for what it is, necessary and not fun. To those parents still struggling with what to do, I recommend “The New Dare to Discipline”. I read the original Dare to Discipline in paperback when my son was about 4 or 5, and another book, “The New Strong-Willed Child“, I read “Parenting the Strong Willed Child” at the same time I read “Dare to Discipline” and it gave me new tools to use, which I desperately needed. At the time I was a single mom, overcompensating for what I felt I lacked with my son, which was leading me straight down the path to having a child that had absolutely no respect for himself or anyone else and I had to do something.

These books were in perfect time for me, I felt they both gave reasonable tools for discipline, made a lot of good common sense, and worked in practice with my son very well. At 11, he’s a good kid and aside from little things here and there that truly can be attributed to boys being boys (window broken and occasional bad grades) all his friends’ parents like him. For my son, the rules are simple and few, but they must be followed.

No rules is a bad thing, too many rules is a bad thing, but rules that make sense for your child and lead them down the path to productive adulthood are necessary. Kids need consistency and accountability, it’s what shapes their drive and self discipline later in life. It is your job to turn your child into a productive citizen of the world.

There is a little hope though…

Economic climate does seem to have an effect on manners. Indeed, some experts believe that trend of rudeness among kids first emerged with the rise of Wall Street and its culture of entitlement in the mid-1980s, which is when Generation X began having children. It has been building since then, they say. But today’s downturn may inspire renewed prudence.

“I think that people who lose their wealth, their jobs, and other emblems of success that gave them a mindless assurance about their social status — plus with the new standards in the White House — may examine their values more seriously,” predicts pediatrician Gordon. “It will be less easy to fob off your inner questions by purchasing an expensive education, summer camp or horseback riding classes.”

It may also be easier if Gen X parents start implementing the popular campaign that they grew up with themselves: “Just say ‘No.’ ”

What do you think?


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