I was running late today, big surprise huh? LOL. But I’m on lunch now and wanted to share some things that are on my mind. You see, I have the desire to go back to school because I feel I have unfinished business, fortunately I’m at the stage where I can pick up where I left off and change my major if I want to, since I stopped at the sophomore level.

However, I do not know what I want to be or do when I grow up, sure I have an idea of what I like to do, and I know what I’m good at. But I’d like to do something fun, something that won’t make me hate my job after six months. I know that’s a tall order for me, but I want to find my niche in this life because let’s face it, I’m staring down 30 while it’s running full force in my direction. I don’t have much time left before I’m an old lady. I want to spend some of this life happy in my job.

I just took a “Career Analyzer” test at, you guessed it, CareerAnalyzer.net and it tells me I should be a Writer. But that in itself is a diverse field, and can be incredibly competitive and really, I’m not sure I’m that good, but maybe with some formal training I could be. Let me ask you a question about MouthyGirl, if you’ll allow me to:

Do you sit there reading my drivel and think, this is like a train wreck, I want to look away but I.just.can’t? Tell me what you think, honestly, I can take it.

Well anyway, the second recommendation was that I should be a News Analyst, Reporter or Correspondent, which sounds pretty cool if you ask me, I stay interested in current events and really if I didn’t control myself I could watch the news all day, but my blood pressure would be up and I’d be an emotional wreck, so I quickly turn to VH1 after my daily dose, or when the stories start repeating, whichever comes first.

The third recommendation was funny to me because I started college intending to be something like this, the test suggests I become a Social Scientist. Not opposed to that, except well, I stopped with that major because I like to think that I’m not crazy or dysfunctional and I’m almost positive that once I started delving into my own psyche that I’d find things I didn’t want to find and would be too disillusioned to practice my chosen field. I often joke that I don’t want to find out how crazy I or my family is so it’s best I stay ignorant to the whole thing. Funny thing is, I know we’re all crazy so it wouldn’t be news.

The fourth recommendation was for me to take up Psychology. Um, are we beginning to notice a trend? I am. But psychology is a little scary to me because those people is crazy! No I jest, I just am not sure I want to put myself in the line of fire… you’ve heard of those clients, the ones that either fall in love with you and stalk you and can’t have you so they kill you or the ones that think you’re out to get them so they kill you. Not sure I want a piece of that action at all.

Ironically, the field I am in is all the way down to recommendation number 10. Isn’t that funny, it tells me writing is the deal for me. Do you think so? So as much as my brain tells me there’s no money in writing, maybe that’s it. I’ve done that the longest, even when I was a child I was trying to. I wrote about that on “Bring Out Your Bears” when DCR tagged me, I swear I’ll find that binder and photograph it to show you all my little juvenile attempt at a fictional/dream life. Yes DCR I promise, there will be pictures. You’ll all laugh your asses off.

So maybe I have some bad news to break to my boss soon? LOL. I do definitely think it’s time to do some research on those top three recommended fields. But my lunch is almost over and as much as I’d like to write to you all day, I must do that supportive/administrative/clerical crap that I do (read:lackey/gopher) and earn that paycheck.

I hope you’re all having a great day, again I apologize for the late post, but boy is it getting harder everyday to drag myself out of the house to come to this job…

Happy Friday!

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I don’t think I’m alone in this so I’m going to talk about it here. I hit these periods in my life where I spend a lot of time looking back over the past few years. Now sometimes when this happens I like what I see, what I’ve done, where I’ve been. Sometimes I am proud and pat myself on the back a little.

But sometimes I don’t like what I’ve seen and I’m disappointed in myself and my lack of progress. Don’t get me wrong…these are not regrets, just deficiencies I see in myself and in time that I spent idle when I could’ve been moving forward.

I’ve hit one of these periods recently and what triggers them I think is big changes in my life. Two years ago I did the same thing after my uncle passed, and now after my Great Aunt has passed, I suppose it shouldn’t surprise me this interest in my recent history and personal evaluation. To a certain degree I suppose I should be glad I’ve been affected profoundly enough to feel it’s time to alter the course of my life.

Several years ago, my son started having trouble in school and after thinking long and hard about it, I decided to take a break from going to school part time and be here for him in the evening to help with his homework. Though I can’t say either of us has benefited from the homework help because he’s a stubborn boy, I have enjoyed the time just being a mom that works and comes home. My house is cleaner than it used to be, most of the time.

I still feel that I’ve been idle and have left a piece of the puzzle out. I feel I’ve got unfinished business and I’m fortunate to know what it is. I have a degree to finish.

Funny thing though, what once was so clear regarding the direction I wanted to take has now become a hazy, gray area and I’m not sure what I want to do. I considered a writing/english type degree, but really what would that get me? I am a greedy one, if I’m spending the money on the education, it needs to make me some money in return.

However some of my real life experience in the working world has changed my opinion of what I desire to do with my time. I’m at an impasse.

You see I remember a time a long time ago, when I was hanging out with a friend of mine, near and dear to me now, that waxed prophetic to me one day and changed my life. She said that no matter what you do in life, Education is the one thing no one can take from you. No matter how low in life you get, if what you know got you to the top once, it can get you there again. I was in school already that’s where I met her, but I was just going to get a certificate and be on my way.

Oddly I can’t remember what certificate program I started after. It was months after we became friends that she said that to me, but it stuck with me and made me decide that a certificate program wasn’t going to cut it. I realized that it would never be enough and I was selling my son short.

And myself.

She didn’t know it then but she changed my life that day. That was the day that I began in a small way to believe in myself. And it was because she believed in me. I knew she must have or she wouldn’t have wasted her breath on me….she is not the kind of person that believes in lost causes, I knew that then and even more so now. Until that time, I didn’t know what that was like.

I re-evaluated my life shortly after that and decided major changes needed to be made that were hindering my forward movement in life. I became a single mom when my son was two and from that time on I had so much more to prove, to him and to me.

Lately I think I’ve become complacent and can’t believe for a while there I actually thought school had nothing more to teach me. I’m shocked at myself for adopting such a view. So now I’m motivated again to make something of myself, to prove that I can be somebody. I’m going to go back to school…once I figure out some sort of direction. I’m giving myself til December or January, whenever the enrollment period is for school, and I’m going back, in the Spring.

But I wondered…

Do you believe in you? Where do you see yourself in five years?

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