Tag Archives: vodka

Two Line Poem Contest

by MouthyGirl

I got this email from my stepmom as a forward and wanted to share it, it’s cute :)

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I’m dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

4. I thought that I could love no other –
that is until I met your brother.

5. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar
bowl’s empty and so is your head.

6. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But please don’t take that bag off your face.

7. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Darn, I’m good at telling lies!

8. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

9. My feelings for you no words can convey,
Except for maybe ‘Go away”

10. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

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Wednesday Fwd: Will I Be a Bad Person?

by MouthyGirl

Well I’m late I know, and I searched my email for a good one, a really funny email to share with you, and I think one is on it’s way to my inbox as we speak, but….I’m going to start the day with one that I think will make you think.

Dear Editor,

I am a nurse who has just completed volunteer working approximately 120 hours as the clinic director in a Hurricane Gustav evacuation shelter in Shreveport, Louisiana
over the last 7 days. I would love to see someone look at the evacuee situation from a new perspective. Local and national news channels have covered the evacuation and
“horrible” conditions the evacuees had to endure during Hurricane Gustav. True – some things were not optimal for the evacuation and the shelters need some modification.
At any point, does anyone address the responsibility (or irresponsibility) of the evacuees?

Does it seem wrong that one would remember their cell phone, charger, cigarettes and lighter but forget their child’s insulin? Is something amiss when an evacuee gets off the bus, walks immediately to the medical area, and requests immediate free refills on all medicines for which they cannot provide a prescription or current bottle (most of
which are narcotics)?

Isn’t the system flawed when an evacuee says they cannot afford a $3 co pay for a refill that will be delivered to them in the shelter yet they can take a city-provided bus to
Wal-mart, buy 5 bottles of Vodka, and return to consume them secretly in the shelter?

Is it fair to stop performing luggage checks on incoming evacuees so as not to delay the registration process but endanger the volunteer staff and other persons with the very
realistic truth of drugs, alcohol and weapons being brought into the shelter?

Am I less than compassionate when it frustrates me to scrub emesis from the floor near a nauseated child while his mother lies nearby, watching me work 26 hours straight, not
even raising her head from the pillow to comfort her own son?

Why does it insense me to hear a man say “I ain’t goin’ home ’til I get my FEMA check” when I would love to just go home and see my daughters who I have only seen 3 times this week?

Is the system flawed when the privately insured patient must find a way to get to the pharmacy, fill his prescription and pay his co pay while the FEMA declaration allows the uninsured person to acquire free medications under the disaster rules?

Does it seem odd that the nurse volunteering at the shelter is paying for childcare while the evacuee sits on a cot during the day as the shelter provides a “daycare”?
Have government entitlements created this mentality and am I facilitating it with my work?

Will I be a bad person, merciless nurse or poor Christian if I hesitate to work at the next shelter because I have worked for 7 days being called every curse word imaginable,
feeling threatened and fearing for my personal safety in the shelter?

Exhausted and battered,
S****i H********m, RN

I will post a funny one in a few hours, meanwhile…think about it.

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